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I feel like a terrible mommy to be every time I am asked if I am going to breast feed. I think it is a personal question that should not be asked, don't you? How should I handle this?

I was told by three different OBGYN's that I could not get pregnant without medical intervention and even then it would be slim chances.

I had very large breasts and wanted children and wanted to breast feed but after being told I would not get preggo, I decided to get a breast reduction for my comfort.

Well go figure... I get pregnant on my own... while on the pill (for menstural regulation) and I have a high chance that I cannot breast feed.

Well when people ask me if I am going to breast feed I answer honestly. I say I don't know. I don't want to get into specifics about my breast issues or anything, however, people make it their business to pry and to try to talk me into it.

How can I tell people nicely that it is none of their business or how can I stop them from prying?

Answer Question

Asked by girlneffy at 3:30 AM on Nov. 1, 2008 in Pregnancy

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I would tell them that is a very personal question and that you plan to do what is best for YOUR baby. PERIOD! I would then walk away or change the subject. This situation for you is not the typical one and you WILL be doing the best you can with your baby - don't feel bad or guilty. You don't need to! Feel lucky and blessed as a new Mommy should and God bless you and your baby!

    Answer by Babylove76 at 3:35 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Just tell them that you are. lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I would tell them,"We'll see." It is a decision that u should make, no one else. Formula was made for a reason. Also, if they don't get the hint, just change the subject.

    Answer by mrsfarris at 3:39 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Just nicly tell them you are thinking about it for medical reasons! I have 48DD before I got prgo and I even go milk but all of a suddon I stopped producing and people still asked so I told them We would see. They got the hint and finally quit asking. Good Luck

    Answer by Beccah2 at 4:07 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • It is absolutely no one else's business! You are mommy it is your choice whether you breast feed or formula feed, but still their is those mommies out there that want to do their best at making you feel like shit because you are not doing what they think is in the best interest. To hell with those people hun, stick to what you want to do and blow them off, your life is about YOU and YOUR FAMILY not some shallow woman who has nothing better to do than sit behind her computer and put others down to make herself feel better.

    Answer by Married2theBest at 5:14 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Just say you know I hate that question so I never answer it sorry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Lets remember that when others are asking the question about how you will be feeding your baby, they aren't always prying...maybe wanting to give you some support if they had a hard time or whatever. I chose to breastfeed my children ,yet I chose that, not my children and since they are all different and our bodies behave differently with each childbirth, my last had to be given formula because she simply would not nurse after 5 months. Maybe just a simple," You know I'm not sure yet, the Dr and I are coming up with a plan." Then a smile and a subject change. If they keep pestering and some do, just say thank you for your concern I'm sure we'll figure it out when the little tyke arrives.

    Answer by Galadriel1976 at 6:27 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • It's truly NOT their business! I was asked constantly with my last 2 kids (my kids are well spaced 23, 19, 6 & 3) and I even had one nurse say "why not" when I told her no with my now 6 yr old. Why not? Because while I admire those who want to and can, it just isn't for me! I never had the desire to breastfeed but I sure don't knock those that do want to breastfeed! So just tell them it's a personal decision and leave it at that! Good luck and Congratulations on being pregnant!

    Answer by bagjmama at 6:29 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Do you know how nervous I get asking this question of my clients because of reasons just like yours? Yet, as their doula, I need to know. I am a HUGE breastfeeding advocate and as I have stated before, will go to the ends of the earth to support/advocate/encourage, but I recognize not all women can/will/want to. You don't have to tell them your personal business, but I do like Galadriels answer that some may simply want to encourage you =-). Congratulations, enjoy your baby.

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 8:35 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I don't think most people mean this question to come off as rude. Some people are just curious. It could be that because of your conditions you are a bit sensitive to this particular question.
    It IS annoying when people PREACH about the benefits of breastfeeding, though. Honestly, like you don't already know the benefits of it.
    Back to your question though, I would just say you haven't decided and switch the topic quickly.

    Answer by SarahBethK at 8:53 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

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