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3 Bumps

How to get over a rape... adult content

I was raped when i was 15 and again when I was 17, by the same guy. He was my boyfriend when I was15, and then I forgave him and became friends with him at 17. I know I was stupid. He raped me with a gun to my head at 15 yrs old. Then again when I was 17 with a clown mask on. I am 21 almost now, and I am terrified of clowns. About a week ago I saw him in walmart. I got so scared that I locked myself in a bathroom stall and didnt come out for a while. Lately, when my hubby and i wrestle and get really freaked out because it reminds me of when i was struggling with the guy who raped me. My hubby went through similar things when he was younger. So when I freak out, he freaks out and holds me tighter, which makes me freak out more and I start panicking and then it makes him think Im afraid of him. How do I get over this? I feel horrible.

 
Becca1189

Asked by Becca1189 at 2:45 PM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,561 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • you don't. being raped is like loosing an arm. it changes who you are. but it does not destroy you. you learn to function with one arm, and that makes your one arm 10x stronger. it's a long ardous process, but well worth the journey. i would encourage you to call 1800 565-hope to find a counselor speciliazed in working with survivors (not victims) of rape near you.


    one last thing, you are not stupid and you are not at fault no matter what your rapist or anyone else says. you are also not a victim, but a survivor. {{{HUGS}}}

    rfurlongg

    Answer by rfurlongg at 2:52 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Get yourself some therapy. Talk to a professional who can help you. I am so sorry that it happened to you, but your best course of action is to get professional help.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:47 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Therapy.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 2:48 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • counseling, it will definitely help to talk to someone who's professional
    meagan678

    Answer by meagan678 at 2:48 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • It will take time, but it will get better. I agree that counseling is the most effective way of helping to cope with what happened to you.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 3:01 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Definitely counseling. And be sure to talk to your husband to let him know that you understand that he's trying to comfort you, but him holding you closer makes you panic even more. I'm sure he'll understand.
    mama2br00ke

    Answer by mama2br00ke at 3:17 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • You need therapy
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:56 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Takes time but since it's been 4 years since your last incident, get some therapy and talk it out. I kept it to myself for 3 years before I even told my mom and sisters. To this day, my dad doesn't even know and it happened 12 years ago.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 4:10 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I am not a therapist but it sounds like you have PTSD. Research it on the internet. There is therapy available for it and anti anxiety drugs help some people. Avoiding what triggers the bad feelings is very important. For instance, not being around clowns, or going places where you might see your rapist. Have you ever considered moving? Just getting away from the town where all your horror happened might do wonders for you.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 7:34 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • You definently need to talk to a councilor.. I was molested at 5 by my dads brother, raped at 14 by someone I called a friend.. I spent years having freak out while being intimate, being very emotionally detached.. At 20 I got some professional help and found out I had RTS(rape trauma syndrome) and have been able to find ways to cope.. GL..
    Jordi_Girl

    Answer by Jordi_Girl at 1:49 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

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