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What do I do with my son?

My son will not do anything I tell him to without a fight. If I tell him he can't do something he says "I don't love mommies that say that" or he drops to the floor and will cry a fake lil cry, or grits his teeth, or he hits something (never someone)I have never let him see it hurts me. I have done the time out thing in a chair, in a corner, in his room. I have ignored him. I have tried to talk to him. I have taken his toys away. I have started every day a new as in give him his stuff back and told him if he is good he can keep it all (like his teacher told me to do) He is 5 so know most of it is just being a kid. How do I let him know he can't act this way? Some new ideas would be great because I have done everything they tell you right down to a pop on the bottom. Is this just him being a kid and I and the one with a problem? HELP!!!!!

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Asked by cmwoods at 4:02 AM on Nov. 1, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (5)
  • Just ignoring him will work if you are consistant. 5 year olds are smarter than what people give them credit for, believe it or not. They know when something bothers a person and they know how to use it. 5 year olds know how to make themselves cry on demand. When he says something like what he did, ask him about it in a way that he has to answer without being defensive. If he does something wrong, tell him how long something will be taken away. An hour to them is like 4 hours to us,lol. Be consistant and don't give into him. Maybe he sees children in school doing this and he figures he can, but,don't give into him.Tell him beforehand when you ask him to do something, if he doesn't do it by this such and such time, he will have this taken away. If you have a timer,show him you mean business.

    Answer by Kat122 at 6:05 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I agree w/ Kat122, consistency is the key. Also, don't take his hurtful words personally (and I know this may be hard because it's hard for me sometimes when mine say these things) but that he's venting his "feelings" at that particular moment. And IDK if this applies, but I've learned through my son's behavioral counselor, that CHILDREN WANT DISCIPLINE because it gives them a sense of security. Hang in there!

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 1:37 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • Thank you for the help. It helps to know my son is not the only one that does this.

    Answer by cmwoods at 11:20 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • I have a similar problem with my 5 year old son. He is very hard to handle sometimes; he wil hit and throw things when he doesn't get his way. just today he screamed all through a haircut and called the girl stupid. I was humiliated; I ignored him all the way home and he kept asking me to speak to him; the only thing that works with my son, who is defintely the most stubborn kid on earth, is ignoring him. Taking his toys away, time outs, punishment in his room; none of these things worked for me; Silence is the only thing.
    Good luck, I think we both need it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • There is a light at the end of the tunnel. My son is and he was like this as well. Everything my son threw was gone. After a couple toys were tossed he quit throwing stuff. My son was a major sasser. Every time he sassed he was put in time out for 5 minutes with his nose on the wall. Everytime he opened his mouth the time started over again. The first couple of times it lasted for an hour or so. Then he started getting it and was only in timeout for 5 minutes total. I felt like a total bully mom but I had to show him I wasn't going to be his doormat. I also got one of those good behavior charts. When he collected enough stickers he got his reward. Hopefully your light at the end of the tunnel is nearing for you. Mine is starting over again with the 4 year old mouthier than the 6 year old ever thought of being! Lord Help Me!

    Answer by beckamommaof3 at 2:48 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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