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I was molested when I was 5 and I just had my son in July, I am afraid to leave him alone with his father! Help ! adult content

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MorganTerry

Asked by MorganTerry at 3:41 PM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Was your father the molester? You should really NOT facilitate a relationship and certainly not alone.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 3:44 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • No this was my grandfather who I trusted very much!
    MorganTerry

    Comment by MorganTerry (original poster) at 3:46 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Why are you afraid of leaving him with his father? Was he the one that molested you? But I understand where you are coming from...I was molested when I was 7 and I had a lil girl but I never felt as though her father would harm her because I told him what and who did molested me so we both agreed to not have our daughter around that person. But when he found out he was upset and ready to kill the person that done that to me. So maybe you need to talk to him before you make a drastic decision.
    mom42107

    Answer by mom42107 at 3:46 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Just because your father did it doesn't mean his will also. I went through the same thing about 8 or 9. I had to convince myself my husband wouldn't do the same thing. Good luck.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 3:48 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I have talked to him, it just hurts him that I think that he would do something like that....It kills me that I even think it as well, but I do and I can't get it to go away....we are hopefully going to therapy soon I hope that helps....I just feel like one messed up person!!!!
    MorganTerry

    Comment by MorganTerry (original poster) at 3:50 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • deep breaths mommy.. I am sure its a horribly hard thing to deal with and now having your own child, brings all the fears back in a new way.... I had a hard time leaving our son with his daddy because he was colic - and then after his colic was done I still had a hard time. I think you need to reassure him but also, he has to understand the horror you have been through and its not personal against HIM..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:56 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Thank you so much! This was not something easy to talk about...I just don't want to be this wife who is afraid anymore!
    MorganTerry

    Comment by MorganTerry (original poster) at 4:01 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I understand 100%.. I have trust issues with men & leaving my dd alone with dh was at first hard.. But I had to think "how would i feel if my husband refused to leave me alone with our child because of his past?" That would not be right?
    There are 2 people in this world a child can be left with.. mom/dad... After alot of thought I knew.. I can keep dh/dd away from each other alone & hurt the deep bond kids get with their parent.. Or I can let my dh be the great father he is (and take that "risk") and leave them alone and let them develop the bond they both should have... If dh abuses his right as a parent, it is he who will suffer. his child will suffer. his family. and it would all be his fault!! He would be the one to ruin many lives..


    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 4:20 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • If you don't want to afraid anymore then you need to learn to trust even if that means the two of you going to counseling together to work on the issues that you have....it really does help to get it all out and in the open...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:22 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I have a son and I'm now 11 weeks pregnant. I trust my fiance 100% but I can't help but worry about if we have a little girl. He is great with my son and other children and I know I'm just being paranoid but I haven't said anything. I've already addressed anyone who has contact with my children that if they touch my children I will fucking kill them. I understand how you feel though.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 4:25 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

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