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What should I say when people tell me to have more kids?

I have a son but alot of times I have people telling me that I should have more or atleast a girl so I can have the boy and the girl, but I don't like it when they say that because with my son its like I have 20 lol, I fell like telling them well if you help me take care of it and support it then i'll have it but I dont want to be that rude. But it does get annoying when they insist even though I tell them I don't want anymore kids at the moment, there like common its best. I see alot of my relatives and friends having more than one child because they have the help of there parents to help them in taking care of the child when they go to work, but not me i've never had any help from my parents or my inlaws, and I didnt expect any help anyways thats why i'm happy with just one child. So I can go back to work when he starts school next year.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:19 AM on Nov. 1, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (26)
  • I think what you are doing is great sometimes though you have to be that bold and just tell them you choose not to have any more kids at this time and if they don't like they will get over it all.
    PAmom1978

    Answer by PAmom1978 at 5:28 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • i don't think you owe them an answer or explanation. It just gives them an opening to tell you more about their opinion. Or just say if i decide to I will let you know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:36 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • We only had one child. We would just tell people that we have enough in our lives going on with the one. It is hard be working full time and take care of a family too!!!!
    susan220

    Answer by susan220 at 5:44 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Why would ANYONE ever ask that? Geesh!

    Very rude.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 5:55 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I have just one child, a daughter. She gets more than what an average kids gets. She understands the pros and cons, and is not complaining.

    You can look at the brighter side, at least the people want to see more of your genetics being passed on. They like you. I would take that as a compliment.
    BlueSaphire

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 6:36 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • People are so hurtful, after my dd (who is 11 now) turned 18 months, her father and I ttc, I had two losses within 9 months of each other, the 2nd was a 2nd trimester one resulting in surgery and a botched epidural resulting in long lasting health issues (neurological damage etc --long story ). It drove me crazy how many times people would ask when we were going to provide another brother or sister! Sometimes, my answer honestly depended on my mood and how in my face they were. If it was some nosy person at a grocery story, I would just laugh it off, if it was someone who persisted, I sometimes just flatly replied, " We tried. We can't." That usually shut them up. Or other times, I said things like we have one beautiful little girl we are focusing on right now, we'll see If you feel like telling them to chip in, go for it, lol. There's nothing wrong with humor in your answer, it might teach them a little lesson.
    KnoxvilleDoula

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 6:39 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Ppl just say that. I get it all the time too. I wouldnt let it bother you! Just smile and say "my son is my focus right now and when we are ready we'll have another". Whats the rush??
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:06 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • People say dumb things, no matter how many you have. I ahve 5 and get a different 'line of questioning'! I would just say simply "We're really happy with our family as it is, thanks for your opinion, though". I think most people would hush up after that. But who know's....
    preshies5

    Answer by preshies5 at 8:22 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • It's noone else's business how many kids you choose to have. I have 2 boys and I had my tubes tied a year after my second one, for many reasons, and I can't tell you how many times I've heard from people, "Don't you want to try for a girl?" My answer is always, " No." and that's it!! I am VERY happy with the 2 boys I have, have no desire for a girl and even if I did, what's the guarantee that I would have one? You don't owe anyone an explantion. The next time someone asks you if you're having anymore, just tell them no and leave it at that. If they ask you why, turn it around back on them. Just ask them " Why do you ask?"
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 8:35 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • don't bother being polite. they aren't being polite when they ask such a personal question.
    I have 3 boys, my little girl died. Strangers all the time make comments about how am I going to try for a girl, oh I'll bet you were hoping for a girl. Depending on my mood they'll get varying amounts of venom in my answer.
    People have no idea what is going on in another person's life and need to keep their mouth shut!
    Don't worry about what other people say, you are doing what you feel is best, right and what you are most comfortable with. AND, you are putting your son's well being first, not the desire anyone has for you to have another baby.
    Good for you!
    momson247365

    Answer by momson247365 at 8:45 AM on Nov. 1, 2008

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