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PLEASE HELP!

It seems like as long as I can remeber anymore my boys have been destructive and disrespectful to me, I dont know what to do anymore. They also NEVER get along it seems like. They get physical with one another and I just can't take it any longer. I realize boys fight but this is not how I imagined my son's growing up together. I am at a breaking point and just need some advice. I spoke with my husband who says that they are just normal kids. Today for instance my youngest son ripped all the papers I had on our bar and threw them all over the living room and then they both got into the vaseline and had it all over there hands, all over the bathroom etc. After cleaning them up I sent them out to clean up the living room because thats where all the papers where, they did do it but then after they did they started to fight and when I try to correct them its like I get one calmed down and then the other starts and so forth.

Answer Question
 
Npace0108

Asked by Npace0108 at 6:44 PM on Nov. 4, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You will not believe it, but someday you will look back and laugh and tell stories about these same things.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:47 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • how old are they?
    keepswimming

    Answer by keepswimming at 6:47 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • They are 4 and 7
    Npace0108

    Comment by Npace0108 (original poster) at 6:49 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • See if having game night once a week helps at all. Play fun, exciting games at the kitchen table- the entire family. And while you play, talk about family stuff. Get them talking about why they fight and what can be done to resolve it. I think kids have an easier time discussing problems during activities such as game night because it's nonthreatening and easy going atmosphere. It'll bring the family closer and allow for easier discussions later on too.
    Sharell8710

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 6:51 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • My DIL had a kindness chart for her girls who fought a lot. The kids got points for doing nice things and then thay had a special day trip to something fun (and free) or an ice cream night, dinner out, etc. Just one idea.........

    also make sure the boys are getting enough one on one time with you and DH. Sometimes they go for the negative attention if they do not get enough positive attention.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:00 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • As far as fighting, I agree you will look back and laugh at it and so will they! My brother and used to laugh about the fights we had once we became adults. I lost him a few years ago and I miss having him here and laughing about them now.
    As far as being disrespectful to you, I would put a stop to it now before it gets worse. I have no suggestions for you but I would try to get my husband to help with that one.
    Good luck to you!
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 9:20 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • I honestly think its the age......... Good Luck!
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 8:12 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • You need to set some boundaries, right away. The destructive behavior should result in loss of privileges, such as television or video game time.  Same for disrespect.  You're the mother, you're in charge so be in charge.

    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:09 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

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