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2 Bumps

Restraining order??

so i had gotten a restraining order on my husband a few days ago and i don't want it on there anymore, which i know how to get rid of it, i'm not sure though as my husband said then we'll talk but im not sure if that means works us out or separate civilly, which i do not want to separate. My question is what would you in this situation when all you want is to be with him and do not want to separate, please help.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Nov. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • First I'd stop acting impulsively and irrationally. You got the RO while you were angry and now you regret it, right? I don't know if my husband would forgive me for getting an order against him...

    Now is the time to drop all your pride and lay your heart on the table. Tell him what you want and pray he wants the same thing.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:14 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Why did you get a restraining order if you want to be with him? People who do that are in un-healthy relationships and it is always best to separate.
    Gnomeofmyheart

    Answer by Gnomeofmyheart at 10:15 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • How can you say that you dont want to seperate but you got a restraining order on him....What kind of sence does that make? Think about it...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • If you got the order because he hit you, you should keep the order in place. If you want to try to work things out, then have him go to counseling first, THEN you should possibly consider a reunion.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:16 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • well yes i had very good reasons to get the RO but i feel bad because i dont want it to effect his life badly. I still love him very much and yes we have our issues but i dont want to separate, its complicated. I think he wants to though. i dont know whats going on or whats going to happen but i think im going to drop the RO tomorrow
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:17 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Depends on the state you live in. some places wont let you drop the restraining order because a lot of men sweet talk the women out of it with talk of change and never doing it again. If his actions towards you were severe enough to warrant a restraining order then he DESERVES to deal with the consequences of his actions.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 10:23 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • You got a restraining order against your husband, but now you want to revoke it to be with him? How about you stop listening to that little scared voice in your head and man up. You got the restraining order for a reason, what it does to his life doesn't matter. You wouldn't have gotten the restraining order if you didn't absolutely feel you needed to. You're acting on impulse, out of fear, and guilt, but you need to start thinking with your head. Going back to him after getting a restraining order on him will not solve anything. It will not get better, things will not change, because you're solidifying that he has the upper hand. I don't care what the restraining order was for, I don't care about your history with him .. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you're clearly not thinking straight. Look at the situation for what it is. You got a restraining order, now man up and follow through.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:25 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Ps. I had a restraining order against my husband because he beat my face in....he sweet talked me and we reconsiled...I will not tell you how I got the restraining order dropped because I was STUPID STUPID STUPID to do that. He didn't stop hitting me...he just stopped leaving marks and I ended up having to leave him because the abuse he inflicted on me landed me in a psych ward because I tried to kill myself. DON"T DROP THE RESTRAINING ORDER!! Let his charges stick!!
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 10:29 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Most states are not just going to drop a restraining order b/c you want them to- they most likely will have a court hearing first- In NC; whether you show up or not- the judge will order Anger Management Classes & Probation- Restraining Orders are taken very seriously & not just handed out to anyone- There are Many Woman that really need one & aren't able to get it b/c the court believes they will drop it in a few days- Think really hard about Why you asked for one before you go down there & try to drop it- your husband is not going to think it is a Big Deal if you need to get another one! Wishing you lots of luck!

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 10:44 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

  • Why would you drop it? It was granted which means he is doing something HORRIBLY wrong! You need to get out of this toxic relationship. Even though that might be hard. It will be healthier for you in the long run.
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 10:54 PM on Nov. 4, 2010

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