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3 Bumps

If you are a SAHM with no actual income of your own, do you still buy gifts for your SO?

Just curious to hear how other families deal with it. I've always been pretty financially independent, until I became a SAHM almost 3 years ago. Then it just felt weird for me to buy my husband gifts with money I didn't earn myself. (I know, I know - parenting is a job, etc. But it *is* different when there's no actual paycheck. At least it feels that way for me.) Husband says it's "our" money, but again, it just feels odd to me. Any tips on letting go of this stubborn idea in my head??

Answer Question
 
phoofy

Asked by phoofy at 12:54 AM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,655 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Gosh, I dont know. Now that you say that I now feel bad! I dont buy him anything, technically he buys it for himself! AAHH now its in my head.
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 1:01 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Whoops, sorry. ;)
    phoofy

    Comment by phoofy (original poster) at 1:02 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • That took some getting used to for me too. Especially the first few years. I'm (gasp) going to start working on November 29th after being a SAHM for 5 years so this year it's going feel a little different.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 1:04 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I have never had that hangup. He truly feels that it is our money, so it is our money. I buy him gifts and he buys them for me.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:08 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • :) I guess, I just have always thought of us as equals. He knows how hard I work, and usually have to do it by myself. He was home on Emergnecy leave for about a week while I was in the hospital. I dont know how many times he told me I was amazing, I dont know how you do this... stuff like that. Youre really are equals you just have to tell yourself that. One day you might have to switch roles :) Yo uwould want him to feel the same way. ;) Good Luck
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 1:09 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Yes. I handle the finances, so he has no idea what happens to them. Whenever I get some money as a gift or as an odd job, I tuck it away. I like to get him gifts from that, but I'm not afraid to get money out of the account, either. It's actually more weird to me when I go to reconcile our finances and have to process a receipt for something he bought ME! Haha! Or recently he bought me a gift card for my b-day. that was kinda' weird!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 1:10 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Yes, I buy things for DH for Christmas etc. It wouldn't be fair if every one else opened up gifts and he didn't! The kids like to pick out gifts for their Daddy, and to do that, we have to use the money he brings in!
    Mrs.B3

    Answer by Mrs.B3 at 1:13 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • well, technically you cant buy him gifts if you dont work for a paycheck. i wouldnt buy a gift from you to him, i maybe would buy a gift from your children or child to him.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:39 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • or your gift can be something like making him his favorite dinner, getting a new sexy outfit, a massage, baking him something, etc.
    because if you just take his money and buy him a movie or whatever... thats kind of silly right.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:40 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Of course I do. But I watch what I spend. I won't spend a ton of money
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 1:42 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

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