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Husband has me so mixed up right now any suggestions?

I have a husband of 20 yrs that left me and his daughter for his married internet girlfriend with 3 kids. I thought we had the perfect marriage but everytime he was caught in a lie he left and would come back after a few days and say lets work on it. The last lie was a picture i found on the internet and he left when i confronted him. Its been 10 days and I have not heard from him. My guess he is living with this homewrecker that did the same thing with the man she is married to now. He has not even called to check on his daughter and he has been the perfect father for 18 1/2 years and now my daughter is devastated because he just flipped out and left us with no money and no explanation. He was just diagnosed as bipolar and has only be on medicine for 3 weeks. Iam an emotional rollercoaster right now but trying to stay strong for my daughter. Any thoughts would be appreciated. This is not the man i married.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is one of my worst fears. I hope that you get everything figured out and get to a better place soon.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 1:37 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I'm so sorry! How horrible! I think all you can do is hold on right now, focus on staying afloat through the worst of it, then try to worry about other things. You are a survivor, mama. And so is your poor daughter. I'm guessing you explained to her about the bipolar? Hang in there!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 1:39 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I'm sorry but being bipolar doesn't give you a license to cheat.
    Shines3

    Answer by Shines3 at 1:42 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • sorry to hear that,
    koensmom22

    Answer by koensmom22 at 1:59 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • just explain to your daughter in away that you think is appropriate about where and why her dad is or why he isn't there. And if you do talk to him tell him he needs to get help if not for himself for his daughter, for the bipolar. i'm sorry this happened to you, stay strong for you and your daughter, i hope everything gets better for you.
    mom2eas

    Answer by mom2eas at 2:24 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • WOW.. well for one I am so sorry you are going through this and I will pray for you and the family.. I would seriously get some of your close friends or relatives next to you or someone who you trust , call or talk face to face and then possibly try and get some financial aid at the local welfare office and see if you can get into some non-profit counseling. What he is doing to you is not fair and you shouldn't expect to jump through his hoops... If he wants to come back, try and live separate until you go through couples counseling or something of the sort. I wish you well in this hard devastating journey... good luck and keep your head up girl! :)

    c-conn

    Answer by c-conn at 2:40 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I dont have much advice right now, but i did want to give you hugs!! best of luck to you. Honestly I know alot of it may be his sickness but you cant keep letting him in and out of your home. Its not fair to you! Stand up for your self..its hard but at this point moving on may be best for now! Have faith it will all work out!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 11:06 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • The best advice I can give is to be there for your daughter. Let her know that her father is going through something that you don't understand. Be honest, but not brutal. Don't let her see/hear you discussing what he has done if you are unloading your emotions. Make sure you are open to hear her feelings and do your best to comfort her. Even though he isn't calling and checking on her it is important for you to tell her he still loves her, and the problems y'all are having have nothing to do with her. Make this a bonding time for you and your DD. Have girls nights together and heal together, focusing on your relationship. You Are so hurt and broken that she will be very sensitive to your emotions. Be strong for her. Get a good support team together and be sure to heal yourself. But try to make it as easy as possible for your baby girl. Praying for you. Huge hugs!!!!

    Tzutchka

    Answer by Tzutchka at 11:27 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

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