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Ugh am i suppose to keep explaiing to him why this or why that if we are no longer together?

So i am talking about my so, its not as easy just to say bye bye, we have kids together& so i still see him whenever it comes down to the boys but everytime we talk its like "why couldnt we work things out, what can we do to fix this, is this what we really want, why did you delete me from facebook" im sick & tired of it, im not going to explain to him that i just woke up one Sunday morning& said hey i dnt want this family anymore, We are not on the same page anymore, i have accepted that he will never change, he is the man who he is& i either had to accept it or move on w/my life, i chose to move on, i have explained this to him but he doesnt want to accept it, what do i say or do now, i have been avoiding his questions but he keeps bombarding me w/them.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Tell him what you told us here. But in the end shouldn't you give him the chance to change if he is willing to work on things?

    Answer by Melbornj at 1:43 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Its going on three years, he is the same, he will change then after a few weeks goes back to his ways.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:47 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Of course there is a lot to your situation that I'm unfamiliar with, and it may very well be as impossible as you say.... but also believe in trying everything before giving up. If I were in your shoes, I would consider the most important thing for him would be: ACCOUNTABILITY. We women don't want to have to be the ones telling our men all the time how they need to shape up. If it were my DH, I would say "If you want to work it out, you need a therapist or a mentor, someone you're going to see on a regular basis, you're going to set goals with them and they're going to ask you how you're doing." It has to be someone you trust, someone who can take the burden off you, and he has to keep seeing that person until he's truly changed, or forever, as long as he wants to be with you.

    Answer by Adelicious at 1:54 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Why not tell him what he has to do before you even think about it and give him a long length of time. If at the end, as you say he won't stick to it then you can just tell him that. You don't even have to get back together but tell him that that would be the first step towards you even thinking about anything. Maybe it will make him a better person even if it does not mean getting back together at the end.

    Answer by Melbornj at 1:54 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • you know i wanted my husband to chance, and he did, he became the worlds biggest ass ive ever seen. All i wanted was for him to treat me like a wife, he couldnt do it he is filing for divorce. You cant change people. they have to change for themselves and sometimes its not what you wanted.

    Answer by koensmom22 at 1:56 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

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