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So do I or dont I get him a birth day present?

So my son is turning thirteen...and he has been beyond rude, disrespectful, and defiant towards me. He walks around with such a attitude, I want to scream! I have taken things away from him, that doesnt work. I have put him on punishment that doesnt work, and yup I have slapped him once of twice for screaming at me. So nothing works. I am not going to beat my child because that wont help either =/....So his birth day is coming up next week. What do I do? Do I get him something, even though he has been so rude and disrespectful lately? He actually told me today, "mom I already know you got me something, you would never be mean like that". I was so mad, I was like really? about me being a door mat. And I dont let him think its ok in any way shape or form..but he still thinks I am a sucker apparently! So should I still get him something. Or just let the day come and he gets nothing at all on his B day? IDK!

Answer Question

Asked by bellamommyof4 at 2:29 AM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 16 (2,448 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I wouldn't give him anything. Yeah it's going to piss him off more, but it will show him that you mean what you say and you say what you mean. I would not give reward my child for treating me like crap. That's just me though.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 2:34 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Get him a gift absolutely. His comment was a challenge. "does she love me unconditionally or not".

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:39 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • get him something then if he's still being rude say well i had you a bday gift but since you're ungrateful and disrespectful i'll just take it back and get something for myself

    Answer by mom2eas at 2:42 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I would get him a gift, but make it something meaningful, not a game or something fun. Eventhough he'sbeing a real pain right now, he will grow up and you never want there to be a memory of the year you boycotted his birthday

    Answer by dmbutler at 2:57 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Either give him something nominal (like a card) or give him something that will be useful but less than fun (like dmbutler suggested). Books on how to study or a teenager's guide to manners would be great! Add to that a discussion about how he's getting older and is now ready for more responsibility would be a good thing, too. Load him up with chores and explain, "now that you're more responsible, if you don't work, you don't eat".

    Good luck!

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 6:36 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I wouldn't get him a store bought gift, I'd do something with him.....camping, canoeing, a day at the beach. It will show him that you will always be there for him, and love him, no matter what. Sometimes when they act like that, they really are just reaching out in the only way they know how, for attention and love. Good luck.

    Answer by kksmomma1019 at 7:07 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • get him a card and that is it...tell him when he learns to respect you, you will give him a birthday gift.

    I would also suggest doing something with him that day. Maybe take him out to dinner.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:41 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I'd get him socks, clothes, something practical that he needs. His being disrespectful doesn't mean you don't love him, you know?

    Answer by Scuba at 9:40 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Get him socks, underwear, grooming supplies plus a book on manners (great suggestion- Dr. Donna) or a a teen study Bible, and in the book or Bible put a check for the rest of his b'day present.

    Answer by higherboundmom at 9:19 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • these are def some good ideas. thanks.

    Comment by bellamommyof4 (original poster) at 12:03 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

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