Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

The term 'adoptee'

I've always wondered why spell check grabs the word adoptee...
Why is that?

I just read an essay about sealed records and adoption in the US by Dr. William G Troxler past president of Capital College here in my neighborhood. I found this:
The term "adoptee" is a linguistic diminutive intended to keep adopted people servile. That is to say an adoptee is in a position of subservience just as an employee is to an employer or as a lessee is to a lessor. The message is be grateful and be quiet; you are a permanent captive of the adoption system.

How do you feel about the word adoptee? 


Asked by adopteeme at 5:23 AM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Adoption

Level 16 (3,092 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • As for the OP, I agree with the quote's author in a way. The title relegates an adopted person to falling under one label which is described by however adoptees are viewed. Right now, the stereotypes against adoptees (a lovely display in the comments here by others as a perfect example) are very oppressive.

    Language should be about manners and putting the person being spoken to or about first, not about political correctness (which is why I can't stand "PAL"). I think it's important to refer to someone how they feel comfortable being referred to. I don't think we'll change "adoptee" or adoptee stereotypes any time soon though :-(

    Answer by NovemberLove at 10:07 PM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • It's just a word that describes a person who has been adopted. A word put into our lexicon to help us say one thing with out having to explain too much.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 6:19 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • If this word is only a word then why are there objections to first mom.original mom.natural mom,adopter etc.There is no more or less meaning to the word adoptee than to all those words.


    Answer by drfink at 12:33 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Wow that sounds like more of the PC crap its just another word and does not express everything about me just a moment in time.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:50 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • It does just describe. But I can understand what the origin was meant to accomplish. And I think it is naive to deny that at one point in history things were different. Adoption was thought of in a different manner. It is wrong to deny history, it is the basis and we can learn and better ourselves from the understanding.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:09 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Wow and my child is still my child even if I am 99 and she is 78. It is a word, get over it!

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 10:52 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • TALuke, You said 'it's just another way to form families'

    and I ask you, 'just'?? It's much more than 'just' building family, as it starts with distroying family.
    I believe at least 1/2 of the experience of being adopted you've excluded or forgot. From a couple of your posts, i'd like to ask-

    Do you need to be the 'only' mother that counts, even if one day your children need more?

    Comment by adopteeme (original poster) at 12:28 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • @ lovemydog 'get over it'

    laughs out loud and cries at the same time for adoptees who are traded off in families as ones solution to the others problem.
    ...get over it...pfftt!

    Comment by adopteeme (original poster) at 12:35 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Gotta love all the gifts in adoption, including language
    rolling eyes

    Comment by adopteeme (original poster) at 12:41 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • When I think of an "adoptee" I think love and compassion. I suppose I could use "Adopted Person" but most of the adoptees I know refer to themselves as being "adoptees" so if they are ok with it so am I.
    However to the point "The message is be grateful and be quiet; you are a permanent captive of the adoption system." I obviously out there by the few replies you have here - "For Heaven's sake. Why do people make such a big deal about adoption?It's just another way to form families" and "It is a word, get over it!" - be grateful, you're not allowed to make a big deal because you were ripped out of your original family and denied your birth records.

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:58 PM on Nov. 5, 2010