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3 Bumps

Volunteering..What?

I'm so burnt out! Really frustrated today. I am the girl scout leader and it is so hard to get help for anything. At my dd's school and scouts and everything else we are in it seems like the same people help over and over. Please offer to help in things your kids are in!! If everyone pitched in it would take such a load off and be just a little work for everyone instead of alot of work for a few. My amazing girls only 13 sold 1400 boxes of cookies. That is 115 cases that I will be loading in my car since not one sole besides my mom will help me carry. I have to leave work and borrow and SUV load and unload these. then race out of work at 430 to sort them (which I may have help for this) and then the parents will pick them up at 630 if they remember. I know everyone is busy but it gets so tiring to hear NO that sometimes i just quit asking for the help!! Grrr ok pity party over. Do you help as much as you can?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (22)
  • Don't volunteer your time if you can't handle it! Just because you volunteer doesn't mean everyone else wants to or HAS to. Good for you for doing your part but never expect anything from anybody or it will just leave you bitter.
    if I had a nickel for everytime I volunteered my time or helped somebody and nobody returned the favor or pitched in I would be rich. I have never done anything expecting something from somebody else. If I expected others to "pitch in" I would be in a mental institution.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I adore the girls and I dont mind being the leader but any help would be appreciated. On monday they sent a memo saying what time cookies would be in. I sent a letter to parents asking who can help..no response! I dont mind doing my share but I think if you put your kid in an activity you should do something. I jus thtink it is wrong how many parents dont volunteer at all EVER!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:52 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Volunteering has so many great rewards. However, the downside is if you are the one who is the people pleaser and just can't say no (my former issue). That is when is becomes a nightmare and it is being done for all the wrong reasons. I have learned to set my boundries and help when and where there is a proper balance for me. Understanding that, I no longer resent those who can say no (whether or not it is for selfish reasons) or try to please people to my own detriment (intense stress levels) or try to keep up with those "super volunteers" who seem to have it all together.
    For me that is truly how to get the true reward out of volunteering.
    tpfacb

    Answer by tpfacb at 10:56 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • It is true that volunteering and being there for your children is important. I would encourage anyone to do that. But I also have respect for me and my family, I know there are only so many hours in the day. My husband is the assistant coach for the basketball team my son is on....but I do not expect that every single parent be involved. Some parents cannot due to work, finances, or other obligations. It doesn't make them a bad parent. So many people are stretched to the limit with their time and have limited options. This doesn't mean their child cannot enjoy activities. Some activities truly keep that child safe and involved in the community in a positive way rather than being alone at home or at risk for negative activities. My thoughts are: even if you don't have children or if you have some time think about volunteering. But truly I also say you can't volunteer for everything. If someone wants to be the door

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:01 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Here our troop leaders have a "helper" could you look into finding one?
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:02 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Honestly, I too volunteer for everything! I ahve 4 kids and one on the way, me and the kids volunteer for all sports,/ sctivities, and on post ( military) And we are rewarded for that. I truely believe that volunteering should come from your heart, and you shouldnt expect anyone else to do it, and you shoudl take pride in yourself, otherwise it is selfish volunteering.
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 11:02 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I have limited my volunteering to a few things and say no the rest. I am on the school board as well and girl scouts and I see 2 kinds of people. The people who help all the time (so I hate to keep asking them). Alot of them help because it is for a good cause and no one else will do it if they don't. Then you have the bitchers. My boss is in charge of little league. Tons of parents complain and he always gives them a coaching form and tells them they have a need for good help. Parents want to throw their 2 cents in but they dont want to do the work to make it happen. Itjust gets old. I guess we should just close down the programs...so sad for the kids.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:03 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • mat then that is their business. I assure you.....if you don't do it the principal, coach or scout organization will find someone else to talk into doing it. A healthy mom takes time for herself, doesn't have a packed schedule for her or her children, and only takes on what she can handle and won't complain about...or resent. So if you feel overloaded or resent other parents for not doing what you are - its not about them. Its about you. You need to think about how you can arrange things so you are more calm and relaxed.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:03 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I love my girls I'e been the leader for 4 years. I go to every meeting set up and clean up from it. I go to tons of classes and go pick up badges. I dont begrudge any of that. I love all of it. I think though with 13 kids and 115 boxes of cookies its not unreasonable to ask if anyone would help me carry them. Really not 1 person will help. So I wil be strong today I guess. I dont mind being the leader, I love it I jsut didnt know it meant I had to do everything! I guess I'm looking at it all wrong i will load them with a cheerful heart and be thankful Im getting a free workout today.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:08 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • It can be frustrating. I have sahm's who refuse to volunteer in their own child's classroom at my son's preschool. I work in the school system and stil volunteer at parties, bake snacks, and even bring in snacks on my days I do not have too. B/c parents forget that it is their snack day! They give excuse such as I am busy or I have other kids at home. Well excuse me...but maybe you should bring them with you!
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 11:11 AM on Nov. 5, 2010

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