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2 Bumps

Surrogacy or Adoption?

Which route would you / did you go and why?

Answer Question
 
Roadfamily6now

Asked by Roadfamily6now at 12:58 PM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Adoption

Level 23 (17,767 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I would adopt out of the foster system. Those kids need homes and have a lower chance of finding them the older they get.
    Surrogacy for me, I wouldn't feel right about spending thousands to have babies when there are so many that need homes that are here now, and I could use the money towards their college.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:02 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Probably adoption just because there are so many kids out there that need a loving home. As far as surrogacy goes, I wouldn't want a stranger carrying my baby. I mean, if it's someone I knew really well I probably wouldn't have a problem with it. And the same goes for if I was the one being a surrogate mother, I would only do it for someone that I knew very well.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 1:03 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • If I had to go one of those routes and choose to, I would go with Adoption. I can't imagine working so hard to bring a child in to this world when there are so many who need a loving family...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:19 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • We looked into both and chose adoption through the foster system. No path is guaranteed, but I was nervous about all the proceedures not working and being out of pocket. I know this may sound strange, but I do have a friend who wants to be a surrogate if you are interested PM me. I did not want to "know" the person and have them become attached to the baby and not want to give him/her up. Make sure you check the laws specifically in your state because some do not give priority to the intended parents. That means the surrogate can change her mind and keep the child with no leagal recourse. :(
    love2snorkel70

    Answer by love2snorkel70 at 5:35 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • This may sound strange, but if she is able to carry a pregnancy but can't conceive, has she thought about trying to become pregnant with a donated embryo? She could contact a program called "Snowflakes". You can Google them.

    We adopted two kids. We spent over $40,000 on failed infertility treatments, then pursued adoption. You can spend bucket loads of money on a surrogate, then lose it if she decides to keep the baby.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 8:25 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • lamgrateful...

    There are laws in most states now to prevent that. Very few agencies will allow a women to become pregnant with her own child and most states have laws that make the child the parents (not the surrogates) before the baby is even born.
    miasmommy21407

    Answer by miasmommy21407 at 9:03 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • We chose to adopt thru our foster care system. I can't imagine surrogacy. I see that you have been a surrogate 3 times and that has worked well for you and the families involved. I, personally, can't imagine it, though. No judgments. :)
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 1:27 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • This all depends on you. When we were going through our issues TTC we explored both options. For me, I really wanted a bio child, but i'm to OCD to allow someone else to carry my child. I personally couldn't emotionally handle the thought of someone else carrying my child, & me having to go on their word that they were doing everything right. We started the adoption process, but when we went to the support meetings there was a week where THREE couples who had all been given the child, & then within the 3 day window the mother's all took the children back. Emotionally that scared the crap outta me & I couldn't hand that. We decided to try fertility treatments one more time, & it TOOK! After we have our son & grow as a family for a few years, we've decided that we will eventually adopt. I think after having Carson, I will be more ready knowing that I at least am lucky enough to have him, if something should go wrong.
    Erin_Jus

    Answer by Erin_Jus at 11:12 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Adoption...lots cheaper!
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 10:02 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • If you are using donor egg, donor sperm and a surrogate, you are in essence adopting a child. It is almost like an intentional adoption.
    2ndtimewish

    Answer by 2ndtimewish at 7:31 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

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