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2 Bumps

Is 15 too young to be able to make a decision on how to handle her pregnancy?

My 15 yr old is pregnant, her father (my husband) is upset & refuses to discuss options feeling that it is her body & her decision. My grown son feels strongly that she should have an abortion & wants me, as her mother, to make her have one because he feels this would adversely change her life. I want to help her make her own decision, but am not sure if she is capable at 15 to make & deal with a decision of this magnitude. Any advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (19)
  • I was 15 and pregnant. I am now the mother of a 9 year old child at the age of 26. I managed my prenatal care, educated myself regarding my options and had a NCB, cared for my infant, and moved out on my own with her when I was 17 years old. I was too far along to have had an abortion when I found out I was pregnant, nor would my parents have consented.

    She is MOST DEFINITELY capable of making her own decisions for HER life, and should not be influenced to make a decision she is not comfortable with. I know it has to be hard for you as her mother, but she alone has to decide this one.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:29 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • If i was you, i would ask her what she wants to do, and take that into consideration, but ultimatley, steer her in the right direction.
    I got pregnant when I was 18, and there was a few times I thought I might want to keep it, but my mom talked to me and said you know, your really young, you dont have a job, you have your life ahead of you, and your boyfriend is a piece of shit and your not going to be together forever so i really recommend you get an abortion - and I did and I am very happy with that decision because I was not ready for a child and that child would not have had that right life.
    For me, if my daughter got pregnant that young, I would also tell her she should get an abortion and I would take her to get it if she agreed, but if she really really truley wanted to keep it, i would help her raise it but i would make sure she wanted to keep it for the right reasons, not just to keep a boy around or something.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:29 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • IMO, you are her mom and you know her best. If you think she should be involved in the decision making, I think you are right. Maybe you could find a counselling place for you, your daughter and your husband and possibly the young man involved, so you can all talk about it. Good luck. I have never been in that position and don't have a daughter. HUGS to you all.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 1:31 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I don't know your daughter, so it's hard to make any judgment about how SHE will handle things. However, I have a friend who got pregnant with her oldest at 14, she chose to keep the baby and raise him. She went to school full time and worked in the evenings... It wasn't easy, but she did it. Now 22 years later she is a mother of 7, grandmother of 2, and couldn't be happier... Were things always easy for her? NO! She worked hard and she missed a lot of "normal teen" things, but if you were to ask her, she wouldn't change a single day of it... She's now 36, happily married, and loves life!

    Had someone forced her to abort, I honestly believe it would have killed her back then, it would have ruined this young girl... You need to sit and discuss options WITH your daughter and make the decision which is best for everyone.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:31 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • the one thing she would not be allowed to do, is give it up for adoption unless i was the one adopting it. i would not let her give it up for adoption, becuase when she matured, she would probably really really regret it and i would never let my grandchild be raised by strangers.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:31 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Even though your daughter is only 15, I believe being pregnant emancipates her in some way. I don't think you can force her to get an abortion even if you wanted to.
    MomMom23

    Answer by MomMom23 at 1:52 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I think it is still her decision she is old enough to have sex she is old enough to make the decision.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 3:24 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • While I believe that teens still need proper guidance to make a choice that will impact the rest of their lives, as a parent it would be my duty to make sure my daughter had all the facts on every option. Each choice she has ahead of her is not going to be easy, each choice she has will impact her emotionally and mentally in some way, and some will impact her physically. I was 17 when I got pregnant I gave my son up for adoption, I will tell you it was not what I wanted, but I was convinced by everyone around me it was the right thing to do. I have suffered emmense pain from this decision even 18 years later I struggle. I knew I wanted to keep my child but didn't because I was trying to please everyone but myself. Most people don't understand the difficulties behind all the options, and I think as parents our children need to be educated to make the best choice for them, I don't personally don't believe in forcing choices.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 5:15 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • EVERY thing will effect her life.

    Having an abortion doesnt make it go away.... she will have that for the rest of her life too.

    She is old enough to have all the information layed out in DETAIL.... every detail.... all options.
    abortion, keeping, or adoption.
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 5:17 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I was a family support worker for a non-profit agency in the state of Iowa and I worked with new mothers of all ages but mostly teenage and singel mothers. I did not have any mothers that were younger than 16 but even though they loved their babies they really missed their friends and "life'. While working with them you could see the commitment and love but saw the loneliness at the same time. I believe at 15 that your daughter is old enough to make her own decision but with the love and guidance of her parents. Talk through every detail of the pros and cons. She is the one who has to live the rest of her life with the consequence whether she has an abortion, puts the baby up for adoption or keeps the baby. This is a HUGE issue and she needs to not take this lightly no matter her decision.
    gterae

    Answer by gterae at 5:50 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

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