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Clingy 9 month old! help?

Caroline is 9 months old and lately all she wants is to be held! well i cant carry her all day she is heavy 24pounds so she doesnt fit in her sling any more or a front carrier! whenever i go to set her down she clings to me with like a death grip and cries! i feel bad so i sit on the floor with her until i get her busy playing with something and then i can go do wat i need to do! im a sahm so i know she loves to be with me all the time but i would like for her to learn to explore and not b on my hip 24/7! so y does she not like to be set down?


Asked by Caroline2010 at 1:31 PM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (2)
  • My DS was like this a lot too, and I tried to work on getting him used to playing on his own (and made sure I got on the floor and played with him most of each day too). It took a long time to improve, but he is much better about playing on his own now. I started by just saying I'd be right back while playing with him, but then came back just a minute or two later. Then, I gradually increased the time once he was getting used to the idea that I'm not leaving for good but sometimes I have to do something else for a minute. I will come back. Most days are much better now, but he still has meltdowns around 4 or 5 when I really need to be making dinner but he just wants to cling to me. I have noticed that separation anxiety can often be cyclical rather than something that only happens once or twice while they're babies--at least in our case it was. During separation anxiety, I made sure I held him more often for a while.

    Answer by pam19 at 1:50 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • This is a totally normal phase, and she WILL outgrow it. But, until then it will only make her MORE clingy if you refuse to let he be close to you, she is beginning to understand separation, and it makes her frightened. In the long run she will be more independent if she has the attention she needs now.
    Think about using a wrap, or setting her upright in a sitting position in the sling on your hip (there are many, many, many ways you can position her so that you do not feel overwhelmed by the weight.) I wore my youngest constantly until he was about 18 months old (he was about 30lbs then), he hated to be put down. Now he is a very adventurous 3 year old!
    This time passes fast, and as frustrating as it can be, understand that it is a phase. You will not spoil her by holding her, it is exactly what she needs right now.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:36 PM on Nov. 5, 2010