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2 Bumps

friendships that are onesided? what would you do???

I have a 7 yr old son who has a best friend and through being friends I have gotten to know his mother. Mom has 3 children ages 18, 15 and 8. She has had a pretty rough road these last 4-5 years. Her husband took everything they had and spent it on drugs then divorved her and moved across the country and does not pay child support, she lost their house and is now living in her parents basement, does not hold a job and has a difficult 15 yr old . I tried to be a good friend and listen to her problems, tried to help her find solutions, babysat....basically everything I can think of but after 3 years i am getting frustrated with it all she is doing nothing to help herself and just complains baout the situation All THE TIME! I tried one more time to connect her with a friend that might be able to connect her with a job she was supposed to come to my house this morning and never showed! WWYD? thoughts?

 
rebeccadac

Asked by rebeccadac at 1:51 PM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,737 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • sometimes you have to just let people go. Sounds like you were the friend she needed, and now your feeling upset , let her go
    kileighsmommie

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 1:53 PM on Nov. 5, 2010


  • There are times where you go through really rough patches in your life and as a friend I try to be there for my friends and they are there for me. But I draw the line when a rough patch turns into a never ending pity party and never do anything to help themselves. It may sound cold but there is a line.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 1:54 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Me, I would not do anything for her any more. Nothing. I would not call her or go visit. When she called and wanted me to do something for her I would be to busy .
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:59 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Children 18, 15 , and 8. * When" had the worst times taken place. This will determine what kind of positive reinforcement or mentoring to give and to what child. Like ex: which child bonds best with ~which~ parent. Or if each one is lacking in school to have one get a home tutor and possible nanny. Is their some form of family figure that can offer help.? Is their a person who isn't related that can help. Church? If the dad is gone and is a drug seller, or user, he is going to have to at least be able to get a form of counseling and act as though he has goals and work, etc. before he is accounted to having children near or with him.
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 2:00 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • there is only so much you can do before you have to say enough is enough. be there as a friend, but you don't need to help her in places she should be helping herself and isn't.
    sleepymamaof3

    Answer by sleepymamaof3 at 2:48 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Let it go. You can only do so much. You can't make her do anything she isn't ready, or capable, of doing. And at this point, she just isn't even willing to try. It's just bringing you down, and that's no good. Just let it go.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 3:35 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • only so much you can do. tell her that if she wont help herself you cant help her either..
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 8:03 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • You don't need someone like this. She sounds like a loser. She doesn't want your help, she just wants to use you, and complain about how bad she has it. I bet she will have some convoluted excuse for why she didn't show up. You are only making yourself feel bad by continuing to try to help her. She doesn't really want that.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 10:08 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

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