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2 Bumps

getting involved with someone who's just ending a relationship?

i have a friend that I used to work with and we recently started texting. He and his gf are breaking up but they live together so it's a battle. We have to keep things quiet because we don't want everyone to know since things are just now finally ending. There's clearly some sexual tension, attraction and flirtation between us but I'm feeling guilty for liking him. I really like being friends with him but I also want more. I don't know how long I should wait?

Answer Question
 
yezay

Asked by yezay at 3:37 PM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (567 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • I think you should back of and wait until things end for sure. He may be just messing around on his girl adn lying to you. I say tell him to call you when the relationship is actually over
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:39 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • The smart thing to do would be to wait a while before becoming too emotionally involved. There's a pretty good chance that he could change his mind and suddenly become unavailable. I would want to make absolutely certain he had time to prove to himself that he was no longer interested in the present honey.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:39 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Run Like Hell! Your a rebound n if it turns into something more why would you want someone with the morals or a rat UNLESS you have the same....
    lillie70

    Answer by lillie70 at 3:39 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Don't do it...don't even text him anymore...believe me you don't want a man like this, but if you do end up ,he will eventually do the same to you behind your back ....also think of the other women, her feelings, the kids( if they have any ) you wouldn't like it if this were done to you
    angie3897

    Answer by angie3897 at 3:45 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • How do you know for sure that they are breaking up...if they were don't you think it would of been done already???
    angie3897

    Answer by angie3897 at 3:45 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I believe people should ALWAYS end their relationships before beginning new ones NOT because of new ones. I also believe in "if he would do it to her, he will do it to me" and carma.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 3:50 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Rebound normally means you will get used and not appreciated for the great person you are and what you can bring to a relationship. Think it through and give him some space. If it's meant to be then he'll be around for a while. Just don't rush it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:04 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • His excuse is that they live together and he wants her out and she wants him out. We've been friends for a while and i don't want to risk our friendship or risk him getting back with her and then either continuing to lie to her by not telling her what happened and not even be able to look her in the face or for her to know and us not to even be able to be friends anymore. He said he's gonna explain the whole thing to me when we hang out again in person since we havent seen eachother for a while, but i'm famous for do first talk later. I've had it done to me and had my bf at the time lie to other girls and say we werent together so anything like this always raises a red flag for me. I don't want to be "that girl".
    yezay

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 4:27 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Please make sure he's out of his current relationship - physically & mentally, and  living in a new location.  You really shouldn't even see him until it's over.  Give him the time and space he needs, whether he thinks he needs it or not.  Jumping into a new relationship is not healthy for either one of you.

    earlgrey

    Answer by earlgrey at 5:01 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • if he is still living with her, what are the chances that they are not sleeping together??

    i would try to back off, wait until he is out of that relationship and some more time on top of that by himself
    rebound relationships have very very bed odds
    also, you could still not cut him off totally, just back off the time and what is said

    i would want him to make an effort to "get me" and not be so eager
    just my opinion
    good luck
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 6:37 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

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