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how many other parents have this issue... and what can be done about it?

We are talking to our teenage kids about colleges, majors, and career choices. We are trying to impress upon them that money is not the end all be all. They need to enjoy thier jobs... BUT, yes, the do have to keep in mind income levels will equate to what life styles.

I fear that our kids will never do as well as we are doing. That the lifestyle they have become a costom to will be VERY hard to attain in todays economy.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • My parents are relatively well off, but they taught us from young that money is not everything. Even though they could more than afford to buy us certain things, they made us earn what we wanted. Starting when we were about 12 or 13, we only got so much money towards back to school clothes. If we wanted make up, we had to buy it. If we wanted brand new shoes, we had to make up the difference. We had to buy our own cars, pay for our own insurance, maintanence and repairs. I was the only one out of the four of us to go to college and I had to pay for it myself.
    I will never be as well off as my parents, but I know how to earn what i need/want.

    Answer by layh41407 at 5:21 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I have to be honest, that is not something we have really worried about.

    It has been impressed upon my son (who is now in college) that in order to prosper and progress in the coming decades, he must be qualified and able to participate in a global economic/job market.That he needs the education and the skills to compete with others in his generation from around the world.

    He's followed a path that I feel will pay off for him in the end. He's studying robotics engineering at MIT and is also studying languages (he has already studied: Japanese, Mandarine, Hindi, Korean... he is working on Cantonese now) and cultures in order to be able to work in his field of choice in other countries. There are other countries that are more advanced in this field than the US, therefore he needs to be able to work in these countries.. He took all of these things (and more) into consideration when choosing his education/career goals.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:21 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • My issues is actually sort of the opposite. I had the boys young and struggled every step of the way to get to a place that is comfortable in our lives. I worry that my boys will have to struggle like I did and I don't want that. I do want them to have jobs or careers that they enjoy and I have talked about these things with them since they were very little. Their father and I didn't go to college, so I'm very hopefully my boys will. I express to them as well money isn't everything. I'm becoming worried however that they don't understand what kind of money it takes to live the way we do.
    So my next step is to sit down with them and explain to them what comes into our home and what goes out, and how that impacts our family and our future. I've alos told my 16 yr old he must get a job, that I'm no longer buying everything for him, that the extra's he can buy himself, I'm a little late in the game teaching budgeting

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 5:24 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I have the same worry. My husband and I are both well educated and we're worried about getting them both through college. Our folks paid for our colleges and we want to do the same because we believe in education. That said and despite our combined degrees, we are not as wealthy as our parents (that said, both of us have doctors for Dads). But finding the balance between doing what you like and making money, is a fine line. At some point you have to be realistic. Life demands certain things.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Take a look at the Occupational Outlook Handbook......... see if they can combine something they are passionate about or have a special interest in with a career that will have good growth potential. Also think about sending them to state schools to save tons of money. There are excellent state schools out there and you can see ratings on them online. Good luck! We found the college years were some of the most exciting years to be parents.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:39 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I worry about that everyday, the economy is horrible and who knows if it will ever get better. The education system in the US is HORRIBLE and it is not improving anytime soon. It is a scary thought. I am 39 and in college and the majority of the traditional students in my classes have NO clue about anything. They think the are entitled to A's without having to do any work. The have no idea how to write a sentence let alone a paper. They have no idea how to use dictionaries or other resource books. They think that mommy and daddy will bail them out when the mess up. They think they don't have to come to class, that they can text, talk on the phone and fool around.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:03 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Oh my goodness, I am impressed with everyone's success! My mother is a RN and has been for the past 40 years. She has always stressed the importance of education, and she lived by it. However, in the end, will you be able to look at your life and say, "Self, it was a good run, I loved hard and loved strong, I followed the path God had laid out for me, and I'm satisfied and I hope He is too". We should never put our hopes into anybody's economy. I know people with countless degrees who are struggling just like the next person. There are so many things that you have to be thankful for, yet so many other things you can lay to rest like "worry". The fact that your children are gaining an education is a blessing in itself. The one thing that I want to know is, did I raise my children that are morally awake, compassionate to the needs of others, and do they have God's promotion. It's a huge task to ask children to compete

    Answer by Lordgivemewizdm at 4:58 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • with the world's standard. Let them achieve their success on their own terms. They will be happier for it, because they know it was their choice, and if it doesn't work, they know they can fix it. Be blessed.

    Answer by Lordgivemewizdm at 5:00 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I agree with lorgivemewisdm - they have to decide what's going to make them happy and how to live on the salary that they achieve. Let them pay for their things NOW to learn how to manage money and learn what things really cost. I know this sounds drastic but I saw friends do this and their kids LEARNED QUICK:They sat down and calculated EVERYTHING that child needed for a year. (clothes, sports equipment, gas, car insurance, etc). They wrote a budget with their child and gave them a years worth of money to manage their expenses with a little padding included. The child was then responsible for paying for everything in that budget with this money. These parents can well afford to pay for everything and don't have to worry about living paycheck to paycheck. They wanted their children to learn early how hard it is to have to be responsible for their things, pay for necessities, and live on a budget. IT WORKED!

    Answer by GumboGirl at 11:06 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I am trusting in the education we are providing for them. They are receiving a far superior one then that which my dh and I received. Plus neither he nor I attended College. But all of my children will be attending. I do have 2 with dreams of the military. Which does not pay well. But the Pride in their job is worth millions.

    Answer by martinmommy26 at 11:10 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

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