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My ADHD 15yr old stepson just doesnt get it...

My stepson is ADHD and no matter what his punishment he doesnt learn. We have been having issues with his grades when he is extremely smart and grounding hasnt worked. He has been getting up in the middle of the night and eating sweets (which is the last thing an ADHD child needs) and he has been only taking junk food in his lunches for school (busted him yesterday on the issue... His father talked to him and said punishment woulde be really bad if caught again and lo and behold this morning i find a stool by the refrigerator where the Halloween candy is and he confessed. It has taken me all day to come up with a punishment and I still am not sure what to do. We have tried everything and he just doesnt get it. HELP!!!!!!!!

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gterae

Asked by gterae at 5:35 PM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • get the candy and sweets out of the house - maybe its his hormones and just full on CRAVING Them and feels out of control over needing it and getting it - just get it out so he's not tempted.. I have night eating issues and sometimes it feels like there is no control, if its just recent and a junk food fix, its probably hormone related.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:39 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I understand the getting it out of the house but I have 3 other children and it is not fair to punish them. My stepson has been doing this kind of stuff since before I met him and he has been with me for 9 years. He lies, sneaks, ignores us, and only wants to play video games... we have put him in JROTC because we thought it would help but it hasnt changed him at home. We ground him, take his books away and make him sit and think about what and why.... and nothing.
    gterae

    Comment by gterae (original poster) at 5:45 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Get rid of the candy don't buy any candy or that are high in sugar. Go and buy Masquelier's Tru_OPC's you can get it in the vitamin shope
    Get the tape Fat City put out by the Department of Education get an evaluation on your local school district on his problem and look up your local C.H.A.D.D chapter in your area! I know these things because my son has A.D.D.
    Darla47

    Answer by Darla47 at 5:51 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Do you think some additional cousenling or ADHD meds need to be introduced?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:54 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • First, it is a MYTH that sweets make ADHD worse, it is a self fulfilling prophecy. As for the grades, he may need help getting and staying organized and grounding him will not work. Taking books away is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Take away something that helps a child LEARN. It is TORTURE to make a child with ADHD sit and think, they have a lot of energy and can't sit still. I suggest counseling, for him and for the family. If he is on meds, have them evaluated because when kids are going through puberty meds don't always work and dosage needs to be adjusted. ADHD kids do NOT respond to yelling, grounding, etc. They need to be given detailed, step by step instructions. And a LOT OF PATIENCE.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:58 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • If he's not on medication, I would suggest counseling or medication for the ADHD. As far as the bad grades, most kids with ADHD are extremely smart, but lack the grades to prove it, becuase they are not challenged enough a school. This was the case with my nephews, and once they got the medication, they did good for a while, but then started getting bad again. They were tested for being gifted, and they both passed that, and now that they are in more challenging classes, their grades have improved and they are doing much better. As for the sweets, I would maybe turn that around by saying "well, you've had your share for today, so now the other children in the household get some, and you don't becuase you've had yours already" Once he's had to go without for a while and sees them getting something he's not, maybe his attitude will change a little?? Hope this helps.
    Erin_Jus

    Answer by Erin_Jus at 12:16 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Thank you for all of your answers. My son is on medication and we are considering couseling. I may not agree with all of you on getting the candy out of the house because it is not fair to my other children. I have had training with ADHD kids in my past and worked with a few so I am educated on his condition. We do detailed lists and strict schedules with him. Sweets do affect him in that they make him more hyper and we have had a rule that no sweets an hour before bed because he has trouble going to sleep. Not every ADHD child is the same. In response to taking his books away I meant that we take his "story" books away and make him read his text books to study. He really doesnt care and has told us that. He is in a few advanced classes in school because he was tested. He has always loved geography and studies maps and could tell you where every fault lint is in the world but now that he is in world geography he doesnt care.
    gterae

    Comment by gterae (original poster) at 2:35 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • We have had talks with him and he just ignores us. I know a few adults that have ADHD and they tell me that it is time for him to start learning how to control himself especially if he is on meds. which he is. He shows no interest in ever driving and he will be 16 next month. We have been told from doctors that he has discipline problems and that goes back to before I was in the picture. Everyone is so ready to tell me what not to do but what can we do is what I am asking.
    gterae

    Comment by gterae (original poster) at 2:39 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • has he been tested for Aspbergers? A lot of kids on the spectrum are misdiagnosed adhd
    gonefishin

    Answer by gonefishin at 7:30 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I highly recommend the Love & Logic CD called "Calming the Chaos" (it's probably available in book form too). My 14 year old has ADHD, and that CD has helped me a lot. I listen to it when I am feeling hopeless and out of ideas. We're still working on a lot of things, but we've had sucess using the Love & Logic approach on some specific behaviors.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 12:16 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

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