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6 Bumps

your opinion please...MIL vs WIFE

So my brother in law is leaving for Germany in a few days...he is only going to be away from his wife and kids for a month..2 at the most. He has to find a house and wait for all of their stuff to get there before she comes. They will be there for 3 years and will not be able to travel back and forth because it will be so expensive. (So no holiday visits or anything) My Brother in law told my mother in law today that when he goes to the airport his wife wants to be the only one there to see him off...even though she will be joining him in a month or so. Do you think she is being selfish by not allowing his family to see him off and say there last goodbyes or do you think my MIL should respect her wishes? What would you do ..my MIL is really upset..she is like my best friend. I hate seeing her so upset over this.

Answer Question
 
shay1130

Asked by shay1130 at 6:20 PM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (42)
  • Yes, very selfish, If I were your MIL, I would go say goodbye anyway!
    older

    Answer by older at 6:21 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • wife outrules mom anytime. I am an army wife, and I completely agree. Anytime apart is a big deal.
    LuvMyMedic3ID

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 6:23 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • luvmymedic..i don't understand..why do you (and my sil) feel like its a powertrip?
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 6:28 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Your MIL may have the right to be hurt but she has to respect their wishes. Selfish? Sounds like to me but it's their decision and nothing anyone can do about it. Oh, and being apart from each other for a month or two is a HUGE time to be away from your spouse.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:28 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • maybe i was harsh saying "powertrip"..but i don't understand what you mean by "outrules"..why do you feel like you have to "outrule" your MIL?
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 6:30 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • When you become and adult and you marry your wife trumps your mother. It's how it should be...that is why we have too many mama's boys.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:31 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • How about she wants to say goodbye to her husband without her inlaws all in the way? Its a private time between a husband, wife and kids. She can say goodbye at the house. You wouldnt understand bc you have not been there. Dont try to understand it, just accept it that thats just the way it is.
    LuvMyMedic3ID

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 6:32 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • MIL should respect the wife's wishes. They can have a party before he leaves so that MIL and other family and friends can say goodbye. Time away from a spouse is an eternity. Let his wife have that time with him alone.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 6:34 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • i do understand that...i guess i just don't believe a month..even two months is a long time. I could understand more if they were going to be living apart or seperated long term
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 6:36 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I dont think that is selfish at all. When my husband has to get deployed or go overseas for a duty station and I will not be able to be there with him then I would just want it to be me DH and DS there to see him off. I would have a dinner or something for the rest of the fmaily to say good bye but I would not want them at the airport. I dont want everyone else pushing their way in when that will be the last few min that i will have together as a family for a while.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 6:37 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

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