Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

I'm terrified

of having a daughter because of her absent father. I fear she'll go threw the hell I went threw with my dad being gone. Hating him, resenting her step brother and sister and having screwed up relationships with men because her screwed up relationship with her dad. I hate it and I cry everyday fearing that my baby is gonna come out a girl and im gonna have to watch her fall apart when she grows up because her father abandoned us for some trash. idk how to deal with it..It took me this long to finally admit why I really want another boy. Please No bashing..

Answer Question

Asked by SweetPoison at 7:24 PM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 17 (3,609 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Boy or girl, the child is still going to have some issues due to having an absent parent. I did. My son does. My husband does. But YOU will raise this child right, and YOU will treat her like a princess, along with your other children. I know what being a single parent it like. It is not fun. But if you set your mind to it, keep your head held HIGH and do what is best for your children, they will grow up loving you. And that is all that matters.

    Answer by mistical_me at 8:19 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • What you are feeling is totally normal...and remember that you are really only feeling like this because you love so deeply for your child. I don't doubt for one minute that any little girl would be lucky to have you as her mother. You are setting the example for standards on love - if he doesn't want you you shouldn't want him either cause he's obviously a douche. You wouldn't want her to stay with a guy just to be there for the child if he was like that, would you?

    Answer by gypsyjewels at 2:01 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I went through this same thing growing up, and now I have one Boy and one Girl. There father left us when i was 4 months preg with my daughter. I never grew up with my father. There will be some abandonment issues but they will resolve with your time with him or her. I know that if my parenting as a mother is sufficient enough for my children they and I will get through this as a family... Its normal to feel the way you do. But remember regardless of the sex of the baby, there would be equal amount of risk of emotional distress. You guys are better off without him in your families life. Took me awhile to realize that, But it feels great when you do. GL mama,.

    Answer by shorty_18 at 8:59 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.