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Joint baby shower?

My MIL called tonight and wants us to change the baby shower for one niece (17 and first child with no dad involved) to a joint one for her step sister (who happens to be blood relative instead of adopted) who is in her 30s, is having her 4th child, has tons of stuff and a VERY wealthy hubby to support her and the baby. We (daughter and me) want to do this for the new mom who won't have what she needs. I think MIL is just wanting to involve her "real" granddaughter because she's not accepting of step granddaughter. The only reason I am even listening to her babble is that we are using her house (she is not doing any of the work or paying for any of the stuff) because it is closer to the new mom (next door) and we are 1/2 an hour away. Any thoughts?

 
scout_mom

Asked by scout_mom at 11:19 PM on Nov. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 41 (125,190 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I don't think it's right to have a joint shower. Who wants to bring two gifts the same day anyway? I wanted my showers specifically for the pictures for my baby books and I wouldn't want someone else there in the pictures. As women, we get very few days that are truly about us, your baby shower should definitely be YOUR baby shower!!!! Find a way to tell her NO!
    carol2m2

    Answer by carol2m2 at 12:05 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Don't do it, the girl who really needs the stuff will get "gypped." I know that sounds materialistic, but 17 or not it's supposed to be something special if it's her first and probably SS who has 3 kids will try to upstage it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I don't really think joint baby showers are good ideas. First of all, all the guests will feel like they have to bring two separate gifts...then I also feel like it's a time to feel special about being pregnant for the mommy to be. I don't think its fair...is it not possible to have two separate baby showers? I had a joint wedding and I regret it to this day.
    moniquinha

    Answer by moniquinha at 11:33 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • To me that seems like a bad idea. You could easily get gifts mixed up. And you both probably don't know exactly the same people you're inviting so it might be more work & end up really frustrating. But this is my personal opinion. I get that you both would be using her house, but it may end up being way more trouble than it's worth. Plus some people might think it was the wrong baby shower and end up not staying. I wish you good luck and can get it all worked out.
    wolverinemama

    Answer by wolverinemama at 11:33 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I have always thought that a new parent would be more likely to have a baby shower than someone who has had four children. Your niece needs it more than your MIL's step sister. Tell her that you think things will get too complicated if a baby shower if for two people. I mean, don't you think the gifts would get mixed up? What is meant for one, the other person might get. If your MIL wants a baby shower for her step sister, why can't she give her one instead? Besides, the needs are different. Your niece needs it more than you MIL's step sister. Just keep it simple. Your MIL probably doesn't want to pay for her step sister and thought she would probably get by with making it a 2 for 1, if you know what I mean.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:12 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I wouldnt do it...it would seem very unfair and it would cause a lot of hurt feelings
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 12:15 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Tell her that its already planned... and they don't any of the same friends nor would it be fair to the new mom. She shouldn't care if u were honest and explain it but if she does change the event to a nearby church (u don't have to be a member just donate a little something if u can) or a park.
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 12:27 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Umm I guess that I didn't realize that people have baby showers for their 4th child? But anyway, No I don't think that it would be fair to the young girl whose shower you were already planning. Baby showers should be special and if you are doing a joint shower they are usually done with people who are very close-sisters, or best friends. A 30yr old and a 17yr old have nothing in common and I am sure very few common friends so half of the people there wouldn't even know each other. I think that is a very bad idea. I think you should tell your MIL that you would be willing to help out with the other shower if she needed some help but that you want to give the other girl her own special shower-that way you are not taking away from either of the mothers.
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 12:54 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • your MIL sounds like marie from every body loves raymond intrusive ,rude,and inconsiderate.
    maya123

    Answer by maya123 at 3:11 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • It doesnt sound like a good idea to me.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 1:38 PM on Nov. 6, 2010