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Would this piss you off?

So my daughter is 4 and her father has been dating a bunch of different girls, some of whom want to play "mommy" with my daughter. As of right now, my daughter has never met his current girl friend as he lives out of the country. She msged me on facebook and said she can't wait to meet my daughter when they come in March and that she can't wait to be her step mom and while she knows that I'm her "birth mom", she wants to be her mom too. I told her that first of all ya'll aren't even engaged and he has dated like 10 girls in the past year good luck with him marrying her and that I her REAL MOM and that even if she does marry my ex she will never be her mom, especailly since he doesn't even act like a dad to her. I noticed that someone else posted with the term BM and to me, that is the person who gives birth but doesn't raise not the woman who gives birth and raises. I am her ONLY MOTHER.


Asked by JLS2388 at 11:35 PM on Nov. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (12)
  • Actually.. it would kind of make me giggle. How weird is that to message someone you have never met in your life and tell them how you want to be their daughter's other MOM. Thats just tacky.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 11:40 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • It would get under my skin, but I wouldn't have said that to her. I'd have said something like "Well, I am her mother. You can be her step mother, and it is somewhat presuptuous of you to tell me you want to raise my daughter... Do you understand how that would hurt me? Anyway, looking forward to meeting you, see you in March"

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:41 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • no, it really wouldn't. if he's as non-involved as you say, she won't be involved either. also, she's his #11 for the year?? i wouldn't let it bother me. if you don't want to deal with her, just block her on FB. the ball's in your court.

    Answer by dullscissors at 11:38 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Umm, she's got some big one's to message you and say that. I think I'd be upset too, but not too bothered since you know she's pretty much the flavor of the week (my assumption with dad's dating history).

    Answer by Nanixh at 11:39 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I would be upset and yes, you are her ONLY mother. I am sure that she only meant to be nice but with your ex's track record with women here permanence in your daughters life seems unlikely. There is no way she is his step mom without at least being engaged or having lived together and been a big influence on her life.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:41 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • her*

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:41 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • I think that it's not really her that bothers me, it's that there are some women out there that think that being with a man who is a father makes them equal to the mother with the children. Most of the girls he dates encourage him to have nothing to do with my daughter cause she takes up too much of his time (6 hours every weekend at most) He has been engaged twice (2 different girls) this year and his girlfriends were the ones who broke it off both times lol But there has been a couple that seem to want to play mommy, and i know it shouldn't but they get on my nerves, especailly when they want to talk to me about our child support/ visitation order (none of their business)

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 11:45 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • yeah that would piss me off too,some people are so stupid.

    Answer by bucky77 at 11:45 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • Thank you for your comments, I was kinda worried that this bothered me, I don't want to be the "crazy mom " but I am her mother and I have raised her by myself for almost 4 years. And Ctink, thanks for what you said, now that I think about it that way it does make me giggle a little bit

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 11:48 PM on Nov. 5, 2010

  • she has some big balls even messaging

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 11:58 PM on Nov. 5, 2010