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I am preggo and have a 20# weight restriction. My friend last night asked me to lift up her fold and put a towel underneath it.

She is super morbidly obese and last night I was at her home. She called me into her bedroom and she was stark naked. She asked me for help putting a towel under one of her folds. This was a fold that went from her abdomen to about three inches off of the ground while she is standing.

I told her that I probably shouldn't since I have a 20# weight restriction. Looking at the fold, it had to be well over that.

She became very offended as if I was not willing to help her. In a way I did not want to because we are not good friends and her hubby was there to help her but in reality I am on weight restriction for a reason. I thought the fact that she asked was a little intrusive.

How should I have handled this because apparently, I did not handle it the best I could.

Answer Question
 
girlneffy

Asked by girlneffy at 3:24 PM on Nov. 1, 2008 in Relationships

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I think you handled it fine, you need to worry about you and the baby and she should have understood that. I don't know what else you could have done.
    KelsoBabeyy

    Answer by KelsoBabeyy at 3:26 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • i agree with the pp
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 3:29 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I think that's kinda weird that she asked you and then got offended when you explained why you couldn't. AND that her husband was home to help her anyway. And that you're not that good of friends. Strange. But I think you handled it fine also. Not much more you can do. Don't beat yourself up over it. You did the right thing.
    CookieMom108

    Answer by CookieMom108 at 3:30 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I think the whole situation is totally weird. I would not have lifted up any part of any naked woman I was not good friends with even if I did not have any weight restriction. Maybe you should stop visiting these people.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Wow, that's extremely gross. Makes you wonder why people let themselves get that big.....
    Deathlilly

    Answer by Deathlilly at 3:38 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • ITA that is an odd request...
    prettyrayray

    Answer by prettyrayray at 3:44 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Deathlilly, I am not making fun of her weight. And FYI... she had a tumor that caused her to gain weight uncontrollably. The docs removed what they could but there is still some left that still cause her to remain super morbidly obese.

    She did not LET herself get that big. You need to grow up and learn to know all the info before you speak.
    girlneffy

    Answer by girlneffy at 4:30 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • i think you did just fine. she probably was just upset or irritable that day and this just set her off. poor lady. i think you need to think of your health before anyone else. i think she understands now and probably feels bad about it.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 4:58 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I think you handled it fine. She was probably just embarassed that she is so big that you felt the need to refuse b/c of weight restrictions.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:13 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I'm sure its a sensitive topic for your friend... you probably hurt her feelings -- even though you had no intention of it. I'm sure she's upset about her body and having it pointed out is probably hurtful. I don't know if there *is* an easy way to say what you needed to say. Perhaps you could have asked her husband to lift the flap and you place the towel? Maybe just some gentle assurance that you love her and you would do anything for her normally, you're just on super restrictions right now and would never want to take any chances that might harm your baby. After she has some time, I am sure she will be okay.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 5:40 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

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