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2 Bumps

Any one else have a "minute man?" TMI adult content

I am so frustrated I could snap! DH has a great time when we have sex. I, however, am always left hanging! It doesn't matter what position, or what the circumstances. We have all kinds of toys, so I can get myself off, but it's not the same. He doesn't believe in foreplay and I've told him that it would help me out. It's like he's not too concerned since he's the one getting all the pleasure. We are 30 years old so it seems like we'd be past this stage. Does any one else have this problem and if you did in the past, how did you fix it?!


Asked by Anonymous at 1:15 AM on Nov. 6, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • lilangilyn, fact is that it takes women, even women who are very in tune with their bodies, much longer than men to achieve orgasm. I also disagree that it's not okay to expect to climax every time. Men do. And orgasm is the finisher of the sexual arousal response. If orgasm is not achieved it leaves the sexual arousal response going, which results in feelings of frustration and NOT feelign close to your partner. When you don't achieve orgasm you don't release as much oxytocin, which is the hormone that makes you feel close and connected. Orgasm is imperative to a healthy sexual relationship for both partners and when a man totally disregards the woman's sexual response and leaves her without orgasm as a matter of routine, it's bound to cause problems that spill over to other parts of the relationship.

    It's unacceptable for us to just expect to get the short end of the stick because we take longer. CONT

    Answer by Ati_13 at 2:56 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Don't allow sex to start until you have had at least one orgasm. If he gets frustrated then he will know how you feel!

    Sometimes when my husband is a little over eager I will make him slow down and do something for me. Have you tried being on top? You can control the speed and you have access to your clitoris to make orgasm faster for you.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:18 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • You need to deny him sex until he takes your needs seriously. How long have you been together? What does he say when he realizes you aren't fufilled sexually? If he honestly doesn't care about your needs, then that's a deal breaker!

    Answer by happycboys at 1:24 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • He's being a selfish lover and that's NOT okay. WHY doesn't he believe in foreplay? That is essential for many women!

    Bottom line....I'd tell him "If you are going to be so selfish that you don't care about my sexual satisfaction then your sexual satisfaction is no longer going to be a priority to me."

    For him to contiunually get off and not do anything to satisfy you is ridiculous and is going to lead to nothing but bitterness and anger.

    Answer by miasmommy21407 at 1:25 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • We used to have this problem in our relationship, my hubs and I. Now it's reversed but that's a med thing and I plan to address it next meeting and in answer to this here's things we found to help:
    Foreplay which he's not interested in. Okay that sucks.
    Steamy romance novels. He ribs me about them like none other but never leaves disappointed when they get me going.
    Condoms. While the sex itself is not as steller we did find that he could last longer with a condom. now that he has the right ADD meds though they do the trick to.
    Those vibrating ring toys are grand and actually the Slumper Parties sell one that has double balls so that it gets your clit too, always a plus. Didn't have enough money for that one though.. but I found those cause him to last longer for some reason, which would be good for you.
    The last thing that helped was that if I was still hanging to play with him and let him play with me until I'm done...

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 6:06 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • It really sucks that pleasing women is not something that turns your husband on. It's really sad that giving his ex pleasure frustrated him. Maybe if he had taken the time to learn what pleased her best, and how to get her off faster he wouldn't have been so frustrated. If it doesn't matter who gets off then stop letting your husband climax and see how that affects your sex life. Get off yourself and leave him hanging and be all "Oh, sorry, I'm done." I bet he won't appreciate it and I bet he will respect the fact that he leaves you hanging a lot more.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 2:58 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I realize that it's not anon, now, but at least the question itself is anon. LOL. Any how, we've been married 12 years in February. Before kids and during my 7th month of pregnancies with three kids, I was a horn dog like him. I could get off pretty quickly. Now, not so much. He doesn't want to put forth any effort to help me out. Then he gets mad if he thinks I've gotten off while he was at work, like I'm not allowed to pleasure myself! Jeez, I have to do some thing!

    Answer by Mrs.B3 at 1:36 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • OH, and when he is done, he says, "sorry." And goes to sleep. Trust me, I'm bitter!

    Answer by Mrs.B3 at 1:41 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Rent the movie "How to make love to a woman" watch it together and take it from there its a very good movie GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • why is he your husband?? i personally would not marry a man who does not and cannot satisfy me in the bedroom. sex isnt every thing in a marriage but it is damn important. he sounds selfish and inconsiderate. i would not give him any if i were you

    Answer by maya123 at 3:03 AM on Nov. 6, 2010