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3 Bumps

How do i get my husband to help me with the kids?

My husband and I do not work he gets SSI and i am currently looking for a job but on unemployment so we both are home. I wake up with our 3 yr old every morning and with his 9 yr old son on the weekends when he is here while my husband sleeps in till 11 every morning. I have complained about this for 2 years now and it has not changed what do i do? I am so ready to give up cause he thinks he helps me but he doesnt. He thinks getting his daughter after preschool once a week is helping how can i make him see i need it to be FAIR? How? Please someone tell me what to do please?


Asked by Mrs.Norris at 3:26 AM on Nov. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,094 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I've found with my husband that I have to be very specific about what I need and want done and even when. For example- You go into work later than I have class tomorrow so you're in charge of getting Em to Roxanne's. She goes at 9 and will need a clean pair of panties and help her pick an outfit. Roxanne usually feeds her breakfast, but it's okay to give her a snack if she says she's hungry. Don't forget shoes and socks. That accomplishes something vs saying get Em to daycare. He'll send her in her pjs and barefeet.
    The other thing is just to have assigned responsiblities to some degree. I get bath duty, cleaning up toys and getting ready for bed. When he's home he handles meal enforcement/feeding the baby, he takes night feedings unless I'm still up (mental heallth issues make me sleep wonko) as well as soem household tasks- garbage, dishwasher. Get the idea I'm sure.
    So maybe these sorts of things will work for you guys.

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 5:43 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • just leave for one day , make him panick for one day .. don't say wher u'r (be suspicious a bit lol ).... leave him with kids ... he'll just feel what u'r doing every day .. and understand how hard is that job .... and when u come back ask him... what did he feel about it and just avoid to talk about any thing .... the day after make a plan that each of you have to respect .. make it liek an order or ur life will be different .. be tuff with him a bit till u get what u want
    i'm sure there is more better advices ;) so good luck

    Answer by caramelH at 3:55 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Take your job search out of the house. Go to the employment office, library or even a temp service so you can brush up your resume and cover letter. Do some research on free truing and take part in something to get you where you need to be. Your job search should be your full-time job (that's what the career counselors say). Creating a work atmosphere for yourself includes a child/house plan for your family. Chore chart for kids (take out trash, do dishes, sort laundry) and meal prep by stay at home dh :)
    Maybe this will work for you :) good luck.

    Answer by tortkey at 4:28 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Tell him straight up that he needs to help you more then just once a week. There is not need to beat around the brush and drop hits. He was all for helping you out by get these babies in your belly RIGHT??? He now needs to help you raise them. Your both home so the both of you can help one another out with raising these children and be a team not a lazy ass and you feeling like a single mom.

    Answer by raemommy at 4:50 AM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I agree with Jade - I have to be EXACT with mine when I want anything done (dates, times, directions) - and he has a Masters Degree and a very high IQ, but then he does have one huge problem - he is a MAN !!!

    Answer by JustMyOpinion22 at 8:52 AM on Nov. 7, 2010