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why is grief so hard

sonya died on christmas night 2007, it going almost on a year now, and i miss
her so much, i have lost, all my g/parents, my father, mother, but nothing like
this pain, in my heart, i cry for her everyday, and i miss her much.....why is
grief so hard?

 
chilimidos62

Asked by chilimidos62 at 4:23 PM on Nov. 1, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I noticed on your profile page that your daughter,Sonya was 25 years old when she passed away. I'm so sorry. I lost my youngest,my 2nd son,Kelly,Jan. of 2006. He was 25 also. It is sooo hard. Even just saying the word was when you talk of them hurts. Its not right. I feel a hole in my heart always. And nobody understands what you are saying or doing unless they,too,have lost a child. I don't even like that word,lost,like you could find them again,like a paper clip or piece of paper. When I lost my son,a woman sent me a card(she had lost her husband and one of her sons)that said,grief is a journey. Everyone's journey is different. You have to find what you can to help you to make it through,not over,but through that deep,dark tunnel called grief. I am so sorry for you to be going through this. Its a pain you cannot escape,but God with loving arms will comfort you and hold you close when the tears flow too freely. Take care.
    ACKsMom

    Answer by ACKsMom at 1:12 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Grief is so difficult BECAUSE it's grief. My condolences for your losses. Grief has stages though if that is any consolation to you. Naturally, the first is the most difficult. Just know that there are many ppl out here who are listening so even though you are alone in your grieving stage, you are not alone in the world. Said with love, Addie
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:32 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Is Sonya a child? I don't think I would ever survive it, or my Mom & Dad. I have no advice, but dread the day. I truly don't know how I will get thru it.
    njt320

    Answer by njt320 at 6:43 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • One of the worst griefs is the grief of losing a child. A child is part of you and you lost part of yourself. Moms and dads are not suppose to lose their children, but, unfortunately it happens. The grief will never end, but, it will get better with time and time is on your side. no matter what life throws at us, this is the worst. I personally do not know how you feel, but, my grandmother lost 2 of her children within 6 months of each other. A friend lost her oldest daughter at 21. Just reading this hurts my heart. Theres a lot of prayers and love coming your way.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:41 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • I have lost 2 children out of 4...one to suicide at age 24 and 1 baby that lived only a few hours. It has only been 2 years since I lost my son to suicide..and it hurts so much...We are not supposed to bury our children but we do...
    I don't know when the pain will ease...I still think about Jason all the time..and miss him.
    Hugs,
    Pam
    momtojason

    Answer by momtojason at 5:52 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • We lost my sister in 2002 my mother hasn't ever gotten over the grief but she has learned to live with it. I know sorry isn't what you want to hear, but I can promise you that life will get better for you. You won't ever forget your child but you will be happy again. Just remember that our baby is waiting for you in heaven, and you will see them again eventually.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • OUR FAMILY LOST MY BROTHER AND SISTER--ONE MURDERED AND ONE FATAL HEART ATTACK. MY SISTER DIED IN 1971 AND BROTHER IN 2001 AND MOM STILL GRIEVES. I THINK YOU NEVER GET OVER IT, BUT THE GRIEVING GETS A LITTLE EASIER TO DEAL WITH. AS TIME GOES BY YOU LEARN TO MOVE ON AND I THINK MY MOM IS LEARNING MORE EVERYDAY.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • I lost a child to a miscarriage, but thats as close to losing my child as I've ever come. It was heart wrenching. If I lost my son I would curl up in a ball and want to die. You are a very strong person. Just remember God won't give you more than you can handle, and as pps have said, Time is on your side, and it does get easier. I lost my dad 8 years ago, and he was my rock. I still struggle with it and cry every now and again, but life goes on, and it does get easier.
    Mummyofone

    Answer by Mummyofone at 4:39 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • Lots of love and prayers for you and your family...
    Mummyofone

    Answer by Mummyofone at 4:40 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • Try to find a grief counselor. It won't make the pain go away...but it will help you find ways to channel it so that you can go forward..
    profmom922

    Answer by profmom922 at 11:19 PM on Nov. 2, 2008