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2 Bumps

My husband has 2 kids from 2 different women and then we have 2kids and I have 3 from my first husband..So we have 5 kids who live in our house he feels everything has to be the same for the other kids too who dont live in our home..From bdays to Christmas if we cant do it for all then we dont do it for any..Thats what he says..But I feel the kids that live in our home should come first??

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mommyoffive1983

Asked by mommyoffive1983 at 1:13 PM on Nov. 6, 2010 in Holidays

Level 5 (59 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I do agree with your husband. All the kids should be treated equally whether they live with you or not. Just because they don't live in your house doesn't make them any less your kids or his kids.
    psgilbert

    Answer by psgilbert at 1:16 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Why are his kids that don't live with y'all any less important? Why are your kids more important than his?
    In my opinion, they are all equal.
    dmdblleb

    Answer by dmdblleb at 1:16 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I agree with your husband on this one. All the kids should be treated equally, the ones that live with you should not come before the others. The ones in your house are lucky, they get to have there dad (and for some there step dad) live with them, dont you think the ones that dont get to have there dad with them deserve at least something special. The ones in your house get something the other ones dont, his time.
    -LovingMamma-

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 1:17 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • ask him is that how his two other children mother's are doing it, if not do it your way
    1LovelyAngel

    Answer by 1LovelyAngel at 1:18 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Your husband is right. All of your children should be a priority, not just the ones that you see daily. Treating the ones that live elsewhere differently is wrong, they are still your kids.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 1:18 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I think it depends on the situation....

    Something like the kids who dont live there you cant throw a birthday party for, so none of the kids get one.... no, thats not fair. Anything else, then they should all be treated the same
    amandahlavacek

    Answer by amandahlavacek at 1:24 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Your husband is correct. All should be treated the same. Your children are not any more special than his and vice versa.
    BIMOM21

    Answer by BIMOM21 at 1:39 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Many kids feel very sad at not being treated the same because they don't live in the house. It's important that they feel equally loved and cared about (even if that's not the case). When you want the answer to this, just ask yourself, "What if I were one of the kids who lived outside of the home? How would I want to be treated?" You should get your answer this way, through a child's voice.
    AlisonAstair

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 2:44 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • They should all be treated equally while at your house. What you have to remember is that the children who you have together don't have any other parents. The children you have with other people each have another parent that buys them things. Maybe you could give them all the same amount of presents when you have them all there together but when those who go to the other parent's houses (and get more presents) leave, let those who do not go to a second house open a few more. Don't hide it from the others and explain that you do this because they get a second Christmas at their other parents house, this way everyone gets about the same amount. Why should the children you have together get less presents then the ones who are from other relationships? This is what my aunt and her husband do, she has 4, he has 3 and they have 2 together, they explained it to all the children and everyone understood that was fair.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 4:20 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I agree with JLS2388. While I do agree that the kids who don't live with you should be treated equally, they also DO have other parents who are buying for them. The ones who live with you, don't. So say you get each child 5 presents. Well the kids who live with you will get 5 presents and that's it. then the ones who don't live with you will get 5 presents, plus whatever else their other parents bought for them. So I see that point also. You and your DH need to sit down and discuss that and see what you can work out. Maybe get them the same amount of presents to open that morning, all together, and then have a smaller celebration when the other kids go home where the ones who live with you get to open another couple smaller presents. Or if you think they don't care about that, then just give them all the same amount. Good luck :)
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 7:39 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

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