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how do i break the news ???

my mother has been told she has cancer n the finally stages and now she has to have surgery and all these test done, my daughter is 11 yrs old n very close to her grandma and doesnt know about the cancer all we kept telling her was she cant go over cause g-ma doesnt feel good today, now with the surgery coming up soon how do we tell her about the cancer n the risk and the fact that she may never see her g-ma anymore if the surgery doesnt work. i had a hard time dealing with this when i found out about it almost a month ago and now i have to tell her. how ????

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dbarkley101306

Asked by dbarkley101306 at 3:33 PM on Nov. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 12 (669 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I'd say you'd better be honest with her and tell her that grandma is very sick and the doctors will do everything they can to help her. 11 year olds understand that people get sick and people die. And 11 year olds also resent being lied to or "shielded" from the truth.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 3:36 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • i think you should becacse your daugther is old enough to known the truth.Iam sure she know what cancer is.
    markeba

    Answer by markeba at 3:41 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • my best friend suggest we all go over to my moms house n sit down and talk to her but i know it will hurt her so bad to hear all of this i guess im just trying to protect her from hurt but i do know i have to tell her and like today ... i still dont know how to just tell her?
    dbarkley101306

    Comment by dbarkley101306 (original poster) at 3:56 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • There is no easy way to tell her. just sit down, hold her hands, tell her and you both cry. It wont be easy but you need to tell her before its a shock she wont get over. She will also be mad at you because you kept it from her. Angry is part of dealing with death so expect it. But share it too. If she see your feelings she will know its ok to show hers. Its very important that you do this face to face and alone. Good Luck and Im sorry to hear about your mother.
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 4:46 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I am so sorry you're going through this. My grandma was hands down the best friend I ever had, and I was torn apart for a long time after she passed away, still am almost five years later, but I think it would have been a lot worse had I not been there for her in the hospital. Talk to your mom about it and see how she feels. If she agrees for the three of you to sit down and talk about it, it might be for the best. Is there a fun tradition the three of you do together? Baking cookies or a favorite movie you all share? Not sure if you're into any sort of crafts, but maybe you could make something together like a quilt to remember the love you all share.

    I was nineteen when she passed away, and my mom and I are closer now than ever, especially because now she's the grandma to my daughter. I'm wishing your family the strength to stay close and get through this.
    grace727

    Answer by grace727 at 4:56 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • me and my husband have stayed up late nights trying to figure out a way 2 tell her but we just keep putting it off cause neither of us as a parent wants 2 hurt our kids n any way. after all the advice from u all we have decided on tonight after dinner we will all ( me , my mom, and husband) sit and talk about it and tell her y we took so long 2 tell her and my mom says she will have her over to her house so just them 2 can sit up and eat smores and talk more if she chooses to.... thanks to u all
    dbarkley101306

    Comment by dbarkley101306 (original poster) at 5:13 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

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