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2 Bumps

Very Frustrated adult content

When my kids want something they will pester to the point where it feels like we're being bullied. Add to this the fact we often feel overwhelmingly guilty telling them no because we know they are only asking for things all other kids there age get to have.

The problem? Every time we tell them yes, what they asked for is broken or destroyed. We just lost our 2nd computer today (we had 2 now just this one, dh built them) I know that other kids get to go on the computer all the time and nothing happens, but whenever we let them it never fails that something goes wrong.

We feel bad telling them no, you can't use the computer because you haven't shown you can use it the right way because we also know that other kids get this and it's not fair of us to deny them.

This is happening to other things as well, I almost want to make them follow me everywhere, but I know that would be wrong too. It just doesn't seem fair.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous5

Asked by Anonymous5 at 10:22 PM on Nov. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (318 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I only have one computer that has internet access. I rarely let them use it, because we cannot afford to replace it. My kids get computer time at school and have video games. They can leave MY computer alone.
    If a child never hears no, they will be shocked when they get to the real word.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 10:27 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • If they can't use things without breaking them then it is perfectlly all right to tell them no. Just because other kids get to doesn't mean every kid gets to. I would explain to them that until they learn to use things responsibly the answer is always going to be no. It has nothing to do with "fair" and everything to do with them learning responsibility. Don't let them wear you down, say no once and have that be it. My son tries to bug me about stuff and if I say no the first time and he keeps asking he gets timeout.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 10:30 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Awe I feel your pain. I would like to recommend LOVE and LOGIC as a parenting tool. Will help you lovingly say no and why.

    SFerber

    Answer by SFerber at 10:35 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • all kids have diffrent ways of thinking. and destroying, if they cant learn to repect what they have...
    (what they want) then they cant use it or have it.... those other kids know how to respect their things and when you can learn respect like them you can use things like them...
    cass422

    Answer by cass422 at 11:06 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • with my kids they know that if they break it mom and dad will not buy another one. They know not to even ask...this was established early on...i think you just need to put your foot down and tell them...and i also go with if i was quite clear enough the first time and they continue to ask there is time out and then grounding from other things they enjoy! best of luck and i hop ethis helps
    mikenjess

    Answer by mikenjess at 10:53 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Your kids behavior is disrespectful to you. Don't allow them to pester you. Tell them it is disrespectful behaviour and follow through with a punishment for it.....don't feel guilty for being a good parent. You don't owe your kids luxuries....you owe them a good and loving upbringing and you are doing them no favors by accepting their disrespect.
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 5:00 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

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