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How can I show him that what everyone else thinks doesn't matter?

My DF and I have been talking about having children and where we're going to live after our wedding, etc. He has been even more ready for things than I have been, but recently after a discussion with his parents, he's wanting to change everything.

It would make them happy if we lived where they are, it would make them happy if we didn't have kids for a while, etc...Only a month ago he didn't care what they wanted and only worried about what we wanted and what was best for us. I'm confused as to what changed and he says he just doesn't want to make anyone upset with him.

How can I talk to him about this and convince him that it isn't up to anyone else?

Answer Question

Asked by MillieJ at 11:13 PM on Nov. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (189 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You need to tell him to cut the cord. Do his parents help you out financially?
    IMO, its true. What HIS PARENTS think shouldnt matter. And he should have his own ideas. If you BOTH actually want to have kids, and move somewhere else. Do it. Its YOUR life. You are building YOUR family. They need to realize your DF isnt 10 years old anymore. He needs to man up.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 11:16 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I agree, you need to remind him about what he said before talking to his parents, you are marrying him NOT THEM!!!!!

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:22 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • What exactly did he tell his parents. It's not up to them to decide your life, it's up to you and him. You'll be marrying him, not his family. Ask him what HE wants and how HE feels. You do have a right to know.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:05 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • sternly tell him this..... when you say i do means cut the strings with the parents and i, your wife (&kids maybe) are your main concern and family, you make this family happy first. thats how it works. they can have opinions but the final decisions should be yours and his. end of discussion.

    Answer by Ross2010 at 12:49 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Thanks guys...I guess he's not the only one that needs to grow a back bone...I don't want to make him choose between me and his family, but that's what it's starting to look like must happen :(

    Comment by MillieJ (original poster) at 3:56 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

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