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thoughts on porn? adult content

i dont hate porn i get it everyone needs a job but i perder that it not be watched in my home. if he is going to watch it then why make it a secret and then hide it. i openly expressed how i felt and that if it was going to be viewed then dont hide it. im not up tight i try everything he wants and i try to have open talks with him about sex. then i come home to 800 porn sites on our family computer. Im 5 months pregnant feel very ugly and this has me so upset i want to choke him. am i over reacting and why do i feel so inscure (ps i would be upset if i wasnt stuck in this fat suite)

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Asked by bethann9988 at 11:21 PM on Nov. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (36 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I agree with you! I hate it! When my husband and I were dating he came home with a maxim mag and I found it in the bathroom and I tore it to shreds and threw it away never again was something like that brought home

    Answer by MelSwim7 at 11:24 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • Its so natural to feel this way.
    If I were you I'd make a decision about porn in the home. If you don't want it to be watched...let him know
    If you don't mind as long as he tells you then he's going to watch it.

    I don't care personally... I dont want to have sex all of the time and if he wants to watch some of our vids then more power to him...I'm

    But some women consider it a form of cheating and if you feel that way at all then you need to be up front. I personally feel that porn is a subject that, if it is going to be watched, needs to be okay-ed by both people in the relationship. But don't expect him to tell you every time, he isn't going to, he doesn't want you know he is jacking off or whatever.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 11:27 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • The fact that he is hiding it is wrong. I feel like everyone is different and so everyone needs to decide for themselves what they will accept. I told my fiance' that if he watches porn, I will not have sex with him because I will not be compared to that. All you are asking for is honesty and you should get that. If he is so ashamed about what he is doing that he wants to hide it then he prob shouldn't be watching it. Also, it was on your family computer? Do you have children that could get on the computer and see the history?

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:28 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • We dont have childern yet im pregnant but i have a six year old sister who comes over alot and a 13 year old male cousin who visits. also i feel like its me, what am i not doing that is good enough to make him happy. it feels like being smacked, plus his care free attitude about the whole thing is enough to piss me off. if i wasnt pregnant i would get dressed and head to town but being that i am i would rather take a shower and cry.

    Comment by bethann9988 (original poster) at 11:32 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I think that is both partners are fine with it, there's nothing wrong with it. If it's being watched, I think both partners should be aware of it, at least.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 11:36 PM on Nov. 6, 2010

  • I think it's a little excessive...I had someone watch porn like that several times a day every day of the week. I don't care if every once in awhile you need to watch something, but there's something else going on if he has to watch it that much. I mean if you guys are having sex often then why should he have to excessively watch that? I don't know who he is and I'm not trying to say what kind of a person he is, but you will have to think about how much time he spends on anything "sexual" if you know what I mean. It's not that you're not sexy at all girl and I'm almost positive he would say the same thing. I think if it's that excessive there's a slight porn addiction....there's always stuff that you don't know about too if he's doing this. Just think about it....if you feel it's wrong then you need to put your foot down.

    Answer by britthoch2010 at 12:06 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • he had talked about it and i would say if i had to guess once a week but if he is going to lie about this i dont know what else i have to worry about. why now, why once that im pregnant. i cant deal with lies, i cant and i wont. mother is a compulsive liar and my last serious relationship was terrible with him hiding things (he was much worse, i didnt know for several months about drug use, once i found out i left) but the point is if he is going to lie about such a small thing it is no longer a small thing. he left for midnight shift and tomorrow i will be up and shopping (my guilty pleasure) before he gets home. hope he has fun when my dad and uncle show up with baby furniture!

    Comment by bethann9988 (original poster) at 12:19 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • lol i dont have a prob with it if i am watching with him.. but i dont want to know if he is without me.. for the same reason you said it would make me feel like i wasnt doing enough for him. so i dont ask.. though he has told me before (not that i know for sure if its the truth or not) bc i am on bedrest and cant have sex now and havent been able to for about 4-5 months.. but i dont want to know but when he told me (sounded honest lol) he said like 4-5 times in the past 5 months.. i was impressed.. i may be naive but hey i will go with a little ignore it to make myself feel better bc at this point i have no choice to help him out or to think he isnt getting enough bc he isnt getting any..

    Answer by Ross2010 at 12:45 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • You know that you're overreacting and feeling insecure - remember to keep sight of that. Porn does not represent a real threat to you or to your marriage; your husband looking at porn does not mean that you are not attractive or that he is feeling unsatisfied with your sex life. He is lying to spare your feelings, so let him. Tell him to create a separate, password-ed, account on the computer for looking at porn. That way you won't see any evidence of it, and neither will anyone else who comes to the house. Sometimes a little discretion goes a long way.

    Answer by Allaye at 1:05 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I don't won't let in in my house,I don't think you are over reacting at all.i don't want my DH thinking about f***ing some porn bitch.I want him to be thinking of me.But ether you allow it or you don't.He will think it is ok if you watch with him sometimes.You might be feeling insecure,you pregnant that will happen,but he should be making you feel better not worse.Hope everything works out

    Answer by bucky77 at 2:29 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

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