Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

11 Bumps

Is anyone else offended by the idea of a man asking for permission from parents to date their daughter?

To me, this is completely disrespectful. Women are not property and if anyone ever asked my permission to date my daughter, my reaction would to be talk her out of ever speaking to such a creep again... My DH was just watching some reality show where this was happening and I said how upsetting I found it... He said it was weird, but he didn't think it was upsetting either...

What do you all think?

Answer Question
 
SabrinaMBowen

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 1:19 AM on Nov. 7, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (51)
  • I think you are reading waayyy too much in to it.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 1:32 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I might be showing my age here, but this used to be a sign of respect toward the parents. Sounds like this guy is a real gentleman--something you don't see enough of in young men today. Older ones either. Seems as if you got some twisted values going on here but it is just my opinion and you know everybody got one. Woman have taken this "feminist mentality" too far today and it is a shame and has "feminized" men to the point where they are really not given any honor and are almost scared of being male. Old school values need to become more prevelant in society today. I was just reading the post about the young girl "bullying" a boy. This is what happens when your values get twisted. The wrong things become more important to parents than emphasizing basic humaness and morality. Sorry if I "jacked" your post. Your question is part of a larger prob. in America today.
    bamachild88

    Answer by bamachild88 at 1:35 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Totally agree with bamachild88
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 1:41 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I think it shows the respect he has for the woman! He talks to dad about dating daddy's girl and now he will really have to answer to dad if he hurts the girl. I think it is sweet and I like it!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 6:58 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • i think its respectful but i don;t think it has anything to do with the daughter being property. he isn't buying her. its just like asking her hand in marriage. i don;t think woman should be weak but i think its a nice sign of respect. but again i wont have anything to do with who my daughter dates that will be her decision. alot of times young men that the parents like girls do not so this is why its not seen too many times. i think its fine. i wouldn't discourage this from happening if it ever happened.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 7:29 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • My husband "asked permission" from my parents to date and marry me back in the 90's. He is old fashioned, raised in a very religious household and it was very important to both of us that my parents accepted him and loved him. We were 16 when we started dating and 20 when we got married. We will celebrate our 15th anniversary next month and have been together for 19 years.
    It is a sign of respect for the woman and the parents- it is not meant to treat anyone as chattel.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 7:46 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Permission, is unnecessary but, nit offensive to be. If the woman has a good relationship with her family (it's irreleveant if there is no relationship) I think asking for the parents blessing is nice. I don't know how else to describe it. If they don't give their bvelssing...well, at least everyone's feelings are out on thetable, lol.
    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 9:22 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I think they're intentions are that they're just trying to be respectful. I don't take it as them trying to date your "property". I think it's a nice gesture, personally.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 9:25 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I'm trying to see how it would be offensive and I just can't see it. I think it's kind of sweet and cute that they guy would be interested enough in the girl/woman to talk to her parents and get their blessings. Although if she isn't living there any longer, it would weird, but still not offensive.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 10:13 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • so am guessing you also dont want your daughters hand in marriage to be asked? its a sign of respect towards the parents.
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 10:46 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN