Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

So you would expect after 15 years or more that they were going to be together for ever ....

so i have met alot of married couples that get divorsed after 15 years or 20 some times 25-30 years of marriege so after all those years together i would honestly expect them to be together for ever but nope -- why do people get divorsed after all those years i mean i would say that if they were willing to stay all those years is because they truthly love that person-- im only been married almost 3 years and meeting all this people is making me wonder why after giving all those years of your life suddenly ends like nothing??? i know sometimes you get cheat on or mentaly, physical abuse -- but why do that when you been with the same person for so long -- why give up all those years you put on to have a good marriege???

Answer Question

Asked by Genesis29 at 3:13 AM on Nov. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (824 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • dear , dont make ur mind works on these kind of thougnts just live the moment ,
    those ppl change as life change and time change as well and this is normal , i mean its supose to not be normal when a couple crossed so many problems in all this years and could a smal stupid problem changed there life so they break up there realtionship and so many good memories that hey hav shared together , but humanbeen change with time and so feelings do , probably they stped loving each other and the kids grown and life become boring so they look after changes so divorced

    Answer by caramelH at 3:25 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • People change and sometimes grow apart. I stayed in my first marriage for many yrs and I did it for the sake of my children. I wasn't happy for a long time.

    Answer by tracylyn245 at 3:44 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • everything changes and we have to accept some things in our life eventhough hard for us to understand...i may not have the perfect marriage now for almost 15 years but i have to be strong and grow one day at a time...

    Answer by neng999 at 3:47 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • My parents were too tired to stay together and maybe even too tired or scared to leave each other and some people want tooo fight it out and after all of this time it changes them and after ten years for me it has changed me as well its harsh but it happens.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:56 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Probably because it only looks like a "good marriage" from the outside. I've been married for 27 years, only probably about 10 were "happy". My only daughter came after 8 years of marriage and was it's primary downfall (she will never know that) because he adamantly did not want children and I did. The verbal/emotional abuse started soon after her arrival because I got sick and so it was "all my fault", everything became "my fault". I almost committed suicide at one point, but realized who would she have if I did that - the idiot father - nope, wasn't doing that to her. Tried to leave plenty of times, but he would threaten to take her so I couldn't leave. Nearly died in a car accident 4 years ago and now am disabled, so daughter is 19 now and I'm still stuck (the abuse has gotten to be very infrequent now). Sometimes you stay because there are no alternatives !!

    Answer by JustMyOpinion22 at 6:54 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • And my parents stayed together because my mother was determined that all her children would be "of age" before she left - and she did leave when her youngest child was 18, after 24 years of marriage.

    Answer by JustMyOpinion22 at 6:57 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • my parents have been married 38 years....if they don't get divorced soon, it'll be because they feel too old to move on alone ! omg, my dad ended up having to go on dialysis 3 times a is hard on him....we feel sorry for him....but what a bitter man, hard to live with and takes it all out on mom.....she does everything for him.....
    and that is a lot of reasons why divorce happens in later years ! (not specifically, but similar)

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • well I have only been married for 5 years, but I have been with my hubby for 9 years, so lets say after 20 yrs of marriage together we get divorced, we would only be 39-40 years old.. its not like our life is over. I am very happy in my marriage, but I am just saying that I have been with my DH since I was 15yrs old, so its quite possible that we might fall out of love. again, in 20 yrs we would only be 40..

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 9:06 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • My grandparents divored after 37 years. He met up with his high school sweetheart. My Gran said she never realized how miserable she was until "that man" left.

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 9:52 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I used to ask the same thing. But I've been with my DH for a very long time and married for almost 10 years. I have went out of my way to make this work. For love. We've had many happy moments and many terrible aweful moments. But at this point, I feel like we will divorce eventually. I honestly think marriage is hard work. For some all that hard work results in a mutually satisfying relationship. For other all that hard work is in vain. At some point a person realizes that they have given all they can and there is nothing left. The relationship is too painful and destructive to who you are. Its get out or suffer til you die.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.