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2 Bumps

Legally........ adult content

What rights does my abusive husband have towards our daughter if I leave him and file for a divorce? I'm scared to leave him because i dont want him to be alone with my daughter in case he gets angry... I dont even know where to start though... Pathetic i know.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:00 AM on Nov. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Document everything, seek help from a women's shelter they can give you advice that will be very important to you. They can tell you about specific laws in your state that apply to you. Get help, make a plan, and document. Good luck.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:04 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • take her with you.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:05 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Honey - you are FAR from pathetic and that is the very reason many many mothers don't leave their abusive partners....I know. I did it. Twice. Yeah, THAT was pathetic - getting involved with another abusive partner. It will depend on the state you live in. Some states are pretty good about making sure that the abusive DH only gets supervised visits. Many states aren't so good. Some are really bad about it. The on I live in is really bad. I would look for a Legal Aid association in your state and get legal advice before doing anything. (Except making sure you are safe, of course.) If you look in your phone book, you will probably find a shelter for abused/battered women. Call them or better yet GO THERE! They will have ALL the answers and/or information on how to get those answers. Do it now. Don't feel embarrassed to contact them - that's what they are there for. GL, and if you want, PM me, I will keep your confidence.

    Answer by Babylove76 at 7:07 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Really depends on the judge, My ex did 8 yrs in prison for beating his ex. They still gave him legal rights to my daughter, I did have all the proof , They said that don't effect his right to parent. Thank god , He don'twant to see her very much . BUT he can if he wants. Good luck , I know how worried u must be


    Answer by kileighsmommie at 7:24 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I live in AL. Even though my ex hit me and was verbally abusive to me in front of our daughter, there was nothing I could do to keep him from her. He could have had split custody if he had wanted, luckily he just wanted every other weekend, and doesn't use the visitation time he got. The laws here say that the only was to keepa child from a parent is if the parent has ever threatened abuse, or actually abused the child. I ended up not filing charges against my ex because I was terrified that the way he would lash back to that was by doing something to our daughter during his visitation one day. If he has ever done anything abusive or threatening to your child, make sure you record it down - date, time, everything, and file a police report. That way you'll have proof that he is a danger to the child

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 4:00 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • First thing you have to do, is go file a protective custody order immediately. Just go to the court house, go to the file clerk & file for protective custody from your abusive husband. This will give you temporary full custody until your hearing in front of a judge & the fact that you had to file a protective custody order, will not look so great for him in front of a judge.

    You can go to a shelter.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:15 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • the protective custody order is for your DD, you can also file a restraining order for you if you would like too.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:16 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • While I agree with the protective/restraining order, there are MANY states, including mine that DOES NOT protect the child!! The order would be for the mother ONLY unless there is something that the DH has done TO THE CHILD - in which case you can file a CHILD ABUSE protective/restraining order.

    Again, OP, this is why I suggest that you contact you local women's shelter for abused/battered women. They will know the laws in your state and the best action you should take to protect both you and your child. I personally would not get a protective/restraining order in my state unless there was a CHIPS petition through the DHS for the child because then he would have the right to take the child for visitation and I COULD NOT BE THERE TO PROTECT MY CHILD. Been there, done that. Won't do it again.

    Answer by Babylove76 at 7:27 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Its not that easy!!!!!! I left my abusive husband of nearly 5 years in June, and he currently has custody of our children until our custody hearing in December. He has stabbed, raped, hit, and controlled me, and yes, he lives with and is in charge of taking care of our 1 and 2 year old daughters. I have told the guardian at litem the things that he does, the girls always come to me dirty and unkempt when I get them, but the courts really don't look into it that much. He has prior arrests and at least a dozen no contact orders on his file. Is your husband in the military? If he is you are in a world of trouble because he will get them. My lawyer is better than his lawyer, but the judge favors him because he is in the military and I cheated on him. Be vary careful before you leave. KEEP A WRITTEN DIARY and write in it every day. That is submittable in court.

    Answer by -crunchy-mama- at 7:34 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Call around and get a free first time consultation with a lawyer . You can ask if they could give you a monthly payment set up if you do use them Or if you cannot afford one, Google your state and the words "bar association" and search the website for pro bono (free) legal advice.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:43 AM on Nov. 7, 2010