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Were we wrong?

We took out my husband's cousin out for his birthday last year. Then we got them a keurig coffeemaker. Fastforward a year later my husbnad asked to borrow money for a loan it was about $1300. HIs cousin turnde him down flat. So now were we wrong in just backing off with the outings? He invited us over for drinks but I blew him off since the wife is a big time boozer and likes to play miss lil innocent. Were we wrong or were we justified? I say we need to save money and with his cheap cousin we did the right thing. He won the lottery too. So I have no all........


Asked by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on Nov. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I do think you sound bitter over the coffee maker.. with that said, it sounds like cousin is being a cheap ass. If I won the lottery there's no way I'd keep all the money. I'd buy a house, pay off all my debt, save enough for retirment and my kids' retirement.. then I'd turn around and pay off my mom's house.. buy my brother a house, move my sister back to the city, remodel my gma's house that she desperately needs since she had the knee replacement.. and i would just keep going like that. i don't get why people with money have a need to hoard it, especially when they have more of it than they could possibly spend. but that's just me. it sounds like you did a lot for these people and they haven't returned a single favor.. so the bitterness is at least somewhat justified.

    Answer by mhaney03 at 8:45 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • A Keurig is $170 and was a gift

    $1300 loan request can be a hardship on some families

    A gift shouldn't be used as leverage or be used to expect favors in return. If it was me, I'd say "keep the gifts if your going to use them against me later".

    Not a slam. Just how I see it. I have a relative that did that to me for ages, to the point I no longer like to receive any unsolicited gifts or help from people for fear of it becoming a guilt trip later.

    Talk to the brother about it, maybe the loan wasn't something they could do right then. We don't know all the details about someone's life, even those closest to us have stuff going on.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 8:32 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • That's a lot of money. No matter what. But it just seems to me you're just holding something against them. "They haven't got me anything" iyou chose to buy them a spendy gift, it seems to me like you expect that in return. That's kind of selfish to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • You put a price on family? If they wouldn't have turned down the loan, would you still be acting the same way? sounds like because you are mad that they wouldn't give you the money, that you are nit- picking. If say you are wrong in your reasoning.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:29 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • So again it sounds like you give gifts to receive gifts. The true spirit of giving a gift is to Not expect one in return.
    I wouldn't want family like you.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:36 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • but we cut back on birthday dinners and bringing wine and dessert.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:23 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • No, because his wife never ever took me out for my birthday and never ever got a gift ever for my house. WTH makes them so fricken special? Not.........I am so glad we moved on cuz my hubby was the first one to say skip the birthdays and skip the bs because we can not afford to entertain while they do nothing in return.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:32 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Besides we repaid the laon back to my mom in three days so I repaid it. So you see what kind of relative is he? He has the we will move on.................

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:33 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • You wish. I even donate gifts to red cross and Salvation army so please spare me . It is just the principle. My husband gave his daughter her first bicycle and first coat when they were on about to go on welfare. Please do not talk to me about helping family. Every xmas we spend close to one thousand dollars on gifts to others in our big family.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:38 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Yes but it sounds like you give and expect something in return. When the favour isn't repayed, look how you react.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:42 AM on Nov. 7, 2010