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AM I WRONG TO BE JUST A LITTLE UPSET WITH MY BROTHER???

For the first year of her life my neice was watched my me everday while her mom and dad went to work..mind you then i had a child in school and a toddler at home so it wasn't a very big deal and i love having her around.

Now she is three and my brother and his wife have another child, a boy and i also recently had my third child. But they still expect me to baby sit all the time whenever they want to go out with freinds or go to a football game or hockey game...
they never offer to watch my children and i only get maybe two good breaks a year from them when my little sister watches them.
IS IT WRONG OF ME TO BE UPSET WITH THEM FOR NOT HELPING ME OUT FROM TIME TO TIME WHEN I BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR THEM????

 
mikenjess

Asked by mikenjess at 9:55 AM on Nov. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (415 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I think people get comfortable and forget that they may be inconveniencing you. You should gently remind them of the sacrifice that you're making and suggest that they swap date nights so you can have a break too.
    JJsMoMMy519

    Answer by JJsMoMMy519 at 10:00 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Tell him dear brother I think it’s time for a new tradition and that’s exchanging babysitting services. You take of mine when I need you guys and I’ll be there for you guys when you need me. 50/50 baby sitting services exchange 's seems like a fair arrangement.

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 10:18 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Not wrong at all, fair is fair, and it isn't happening here.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:57 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • No, it's not wrong and YOU need to tell them that you are NOT watching their kids all the time because they don't reciprocate. Also, you just had another baby and don't need to be watching 2 other kids on top of your own 3. Occasionally is one thing but for them not to help you out is another.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:59 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • First sit them down and tell them how you feel about the one sided baby sitting. Then if they do not change their ways. Tell them you will not babysitt for them any more, when they go out, only for work.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:00 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I would tell them that you wont be able to wach the kids anymore unless they are working because you need a break and want to spend some more one on one time with your kids and with just your family. But yes I would be upset. That is rude that they expect you to do it all the time and they wont do it once for you and your SO. Just talk to your brother. I think JJsMoMMY is right. People get comfortable and forget what all you are doing for them. Good Luck!
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 10:04 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • No, it's not wrong of you to be upset. They're taking advantage of you and you need to make this known to them.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:25 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Well, yes, in a way, it is "wrong" of you to be upset - after all, you're the one who taught them that this arrangement is just fine. But the good news is that it's not that difficult to correct. You can tell them how very happy you are for them and oh how you wish you could babysit, but that you simply won't be available as often as you previously were and that you'll need plenty of notice for those occasions when you are able to help them out.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 5:07 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • were in the same boat,,,my bro is like that and i think there is nothing wrong for you to be upset...it's really a matter of time for you to relieve some stress..take time and breathe...pray....
    neng999

    Answer by neng999 at 5:17 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Yes & no. They are wrong for expecting you to be on call. But, you are wrong for letting them. Well, "wrong" is harsh but, they couldn't use you if you just said no. The good thing is you are in the postition to change it. SAY NO! They may get mad but, they really have no business being upset. They should be thanking you. If they are decent people they'll understand & even apologize for taking you for granted. If not, well then they didn;t deserve your help in the first place. Good luck
    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 10:19 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

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