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2 Bumps

yesterday was hell...

Yesterday was a nightmare. My DH was mad all day. I couldn't do anything right and he just kept getting pissed at me over really stupid stuff. Called me names, etc. I can't stand him being mad at me so I kiss ass all the time. I feel so terrible about it all. He did make a semi apology. But it seems like over the last 2 months he is pissed at me all the time. All I do is walk on eggshells and hope to not to piss him off. Then I apologize for crap I didn't do. I want a peaceful day today. I am mentally exhausted and feel I am being emotionally abused. I asked if I could go see my sister but he blew up and was pissed so I dropped that. I feel so vunerable and lonely. Even when he is nice to me I feel like shit because of all the stuff he keeps saying and doing. What would you do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:36 AM on Nov. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You ASKED if you could go see your sister? Honey, you need to get the hell out of this relationship.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:40 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • that sounds exactly my my ex-husband. i had to ask to do anything, and then he would get mad at me about it. it never did get better, thats why i divorced him.
    momslikeme366

    Answer by momslikeme366 at 10:41 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I wouldn't remain in that situation. Either you're equal partners or you're not - and what you're describing is NOT equal partners. Why should you have to ask permission to go see someone? Sure, you absolutely do need to work together and plan together, mesh schedules and such, but the kind of treatment you're choosing to accept? I would not. We do teach people how to treat us - and he's been taught that it's ok to treat you like this. If you don't like it, change it.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 10:41 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • He sounds emotionally and mentally abusive. I understand being stressed sometimes, we all get that way, but being that mean isn't called for.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 10:44 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I'd probably stop being a doormat and kissing ass and apologizing all the time and start standing up for myself and demanding respect in my own house.
    And if that didn't work, I'd wait for him to be asleep, drop a 20-pound sack of potatoes on his junk, drag his writhing body out to the porch where I put the black plastic Hefty bags full of his belongings, scream "That's what happens to assholes!", slam the door and call the lawyer.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:45 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • What would I do? It's more like what DID I do. I left. I realized that his constantly blaming me and calling me names and making me feel like crap was his way of controlling me. I realized that HE was the one with the issue not me. I realized that I did not want my kids to think that it was ok to treat a woman this way. I realized that not only was it emotionally damaging to me, but to my children.
    I put aside money, I got a laywer, and I left. I also got therapy, because years of emotional abuse can really damage you.
    Get out and get help. Good luck, sweetie, you can do it!!
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 11:02 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Is he on drugs? Drinks? Hits? Is this daily, and sometimes unpredictable like a sleeping cat, then he pounds on you?

    Is he just having a stupid midlife crisis, (it's not really a disease, it's a bad excuse for not being smart enough to get counseling)
    Men aren't talkers.
    Just say you need to go for an hour or so to stretch or whatever, than just go to your sisters.
    By the way all the answers are ok, but if it's just a post surgical thing and it's like rebounding in his emotions, than I'd write that off and do what you are planning, go to sis's.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • there is something else going on. With my husband it was compulsive gambling all because his cousin won the lottery. So every time he lost he would flip a lid on me and go ballisitc. Ask him about money problems, gambling, drinking, drugs, other women, just ask him if he has problems dealing with something he is not telling you. He is being verbally abusive with you and needs to stop. Please get advice from close family and whatever you do , do not leave the house. Kick him to the curb but do not ever be the outcast for his whackjob behavior.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Honey, the first thing you have to understand is that you will never ever do anything right for this man. And the second thing is that until you get some backbone,and some self-respect, and stand up to him, refuse to take his shit, and refuse responsibility for making him happy, he will never respect you. Has he hit you yet? He will. You need to get away from him. Don't ask permission, just pick up your purse and go! Tell him to get over himself while you are standing in the doorway, and tell him that you expect his mood to be alot better by the time you get back. Refuse to be sucked into his little game! He is a bully, an abuser, and a sick asshole. It is not your problem, unless you allow it to be!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 12:39 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • mamaAlice said it all! GET OUT!
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 1:52 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

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