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How do you talk to your kids about sex?

I know that public schools do sex education, but what about when they come to you about specific questions? How do you word it to keep them from having sex before graduating high school?

 
_Tam_

Asked by _Tam_ at 10:55 AM on Nov. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 30 (42,083 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • I have always had a fairly open relationship with each of my kids. They each learned about their bodies, and how they functioned, at their own rate, and when they had a question about something sexual they never had a problem coming to me and talking about it. My mother answered my question about what intercourse was with: "Alice that is something that happens between a married couple, and they don't even discuss it between themselves". WTF! So I made a promise that day to myself that my kids would get an answer when they asked me that question! And they always have! My daughter came in and told me last year that her friend had questions about where to get birth control. So when her friend came over to pick her up, I gave her some options, and suggested that she talk to her Mom. She said, Alice you are the only Mom I know that can talk to her daughter about stuff like this! My mom and every other mom would have a stroke!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 12:16 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Well, my kids are only 3 & 4, but they know all about sex. We start from the time they are old enough to know their own body parts with sex ed. It's not something we see as "taboo" in this house, and it's talked about openly. As they grow up that's not going to change! So there won't be a "sex talk" but an ongoing conversation from the time they are babies... I have yet to find a reason to skirt questions, I'm not shy about sex, never have been, and don't plan to hide anything from my children on the subject.. I don't however, see sex as teens or while in HS as a bad thing either. It's natural and normal. Hell, I surely didn't wait. I simply believe they need the education about both risks and benefits so they can make the proper choices for themselves.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:31 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I will not rely on the school to teach my child about sex. I feel that it is something that I, as a parent, should do. Depending on the maturity, just be honest. Give what information that they ask.

    As for keeping them from having sex in school, I think that the more mystery we take away from sex, the less it will lure kids to do it before they are really ready.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:49 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • When mine came up with questions, I gave them the truth, I told them not to be pushed on by peer pressure but to listen their gut, and not into anything they weren't ready for. I emphasized the importance of emotion in the act, and everything attached to it. I also told them how normal their feelings were for wanting to experience it but to wait until it was right for them. Everything has a time and a place.
    older

    Answer by older at 12:04 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I think that is so sad, because if they aren't getting answers from you, where are the answers coming from? My daughter is not promiscuous, but she damn well knows where babies come from and she is one less that will get cervical cancer because of an std!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 12:19 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I start with books, and also just answer their questions from my perspective. I let them know what I think and why, but the truth is, you cannot prevent them from having sex, all you can do is let them know what you think, what your rules are, why, and they are going to make their own decisions....that doesn't mean you should encourage them to have sex, or are obligated to supply them with birth control, etc....just arm them with knowledge, teach them respect for themselves, their bodies, your values, and hope for the best.
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 4:28 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • My DD is only 3 so the topic has not really come up yet. I do teach her the proper terms for genitals & the difference between good touch & bad touch. I plan to be honest with her when she gets older, I will just talk to her normally, answer her questions as they come. To me, this should not be a one time conversation, its an on going topic, something that you should always be open to. I want my DD to know she can trust me & come to me when she needs.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 12:16 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • my oldest is only 1 1/2 so I imagine that when that time comes it will be terrifying! lol
    WhitneyMommyOf2

    Answer by WhitneyMommyOf2 at 12:49 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • i would tell them the truth don't lie because they will say i don't think my mom know to much about sex she never told me this
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 1:40 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I gave my 12 yo info about stds that I printed off the computer. I told him that fornication was the only sin that the Bible says to run from and why. I basically scared the crap out of him. I also told him all of the reasons why I believe like I do. I don't know if it will work in the long run, but I hope so.
    A.Perry

    Answer by A.Perry at 11:27 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

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