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Did your parents prepare for growing old? Any downsizing or setting up last will?

We all moved out (5 kids) and settled. My parents still live in this gigantic 3 story house with side buildings and huge garden. Since years my mother tries to convince my father to sell the place, downsize, get something apropiate for their age (63 and 71). Health problems kicked in years ago and it's costing them a fortune to maintain the place.
Of course it's nice to have a place to stay when the whole family comes together, but it's just crazy in the long run!
I'd really like to talk about that to my father, but it's a very sensitive subject and we are very much alike. So I'm afraid this conversation won't end well. They could still have a few good years together, but here's the most annoying point: "I die first.", that's what he's convinced of. (2 b cont.)


Asked by BeachMom81 at 11:08 AM on Nov. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,551 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Wow, good one.
    my parents have made preps. They are 78 and 82. Both have major medical problems, both have had strokes. We have power of attorney set up, mom for dad and me for both.
    In your case, do your siblings agree with you? If they do, it sounds like you are all going to have to sit both parents down and tell them your concerns. Your dad may actually be afraid of talking about it and coming out sounding all selfish and mean. Have one person, maybe you, maybe the oldest, maybe the closest geographically be in charge of helping with the details. Finding an attorney, making an appt and going with them. If you ever wanna talk, pm or friend me.....I've got lots of experience with this issue. Good luck!

    Answer by kjrn79 at 11:20 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I love my father, but I have steam coming out of my ears when I hear him say this. What an arrogant X#@&*!X8 ! ! ! Yeah, just kick the bucket, no preparation, dump it all on mom. Great .... That's the crown of selfishness.
    I wish we'de win the lottry. I\d take over the whole place. Make the groundfloor fit for diasbled and turn the rest into flats and rent them.

    Comment by BeachMom81 (original poster) at 11:12 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Nope, not really, but my mother doesn't have a big house or anything... Just 2 bedrooms and my sister is still technically in one of them. Plus, my mom is only in her 40's... My grandmother on the other hand just bought a house twice the size of the one she's been in for the last 30 years! She's upsizing! lol... And she plans to spend what savings she has to travel the world over the next few years. But she said there is more than enough money coming in from her life insurance that we won't have to worry about things...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:15 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • So ...what if he down sized and spent all the liquid assets on his personal material affections. Like a car, or other items that only one member will be able to use and get to manipulate the money with . He will be setting that one person up for hatred from the rest of the family. See men see the need to;........."TRAIN TO KILL".... one of the most money affluent (so to speak) family members. This way he can keep controlling people even far after his death.
    if you are like those

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • My parents have a 4 bedroom house on a lake and every room is full. They have a gym, an office, a guest room, and a bedroom. They have a huge garage with more space up above that my dad turned into a music studio. My parents are only in their 40s. They just bought an RV and shut their house down for the winter. They will never downsize or sell their home.

    Answer by ashisamom at 11:46 AM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • my parents have a 6 bedroom house and they own it free and clear but I really wish they would sell it and use the money from the sell to downsize into something a bit smaller. My mom loves her house and yard and all but she has such horrible arthritis that the chores for her and my dad who has alzhimers is getting to be too much but no they are very stubborn and do not think they will ever pass away...LOL

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 1:50 PM on Nov. 7, 2010