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How do I get my kids under control?

I have 3 kids, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 4. They are so terrible most of the time I don't even want to be around them. When they were smaller I played with them all the time but now they just make a mess of the house, constantly wanting to eat, and mostly fighting each other. I stay at home and Dh works alot so I am alone to parent them. They are always doing mean things so I would be punishing them all the time, so instead I yell which doesn't work either.

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Asked by reesemom at 12:46 PM on Nov. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,190 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I would sit them down and first make sure they understand... most of the time they tune us out past a few words, especially if you are yelling... I would suggest stopping that. Sit them down and tell them, if you do this (whatever it is that they are doing) again... (have them repeat it...), then mommy is going to ___." (Again have them repeat it... whether it is take a toy away, put them in time out, or whatever it is you decide will be the most effective way to punish them.) Then if they do it, since they repeated you, they heard you... so you have no doubts about that... don't give them another chance... do what you said you were going to do... stand firm, and don't let their protests, temper tantrums, etc. sway you. Then explain to them... "Remember, mommy said if you did this again, then this was going to happen." Once they know you mean business, they will start to listen. Don't give them repeated chances (continued)

    Answer by momof2redhedz at 1:24 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • (Continued) once you have told them... because then they will keep testing you again and again. If they understand that they choose the consequences whether they get to keep playing, or whether they get punished, and you do mean business, they will listen. Be CONSTANT.... do not follow through one time and then not the next time.... they will not take you seriously if you do that... They are not morons, they understand english, they just need to know you are serious and constant. Also, watch shows like "super nanny" and stuff like that... I know you would think normally, "what could I learn off a tv show...?" but the methods work... be firm and constant... that is my best advice...! Hope this helps!

    Answer by momof2redhedz at 1:34 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • You need to be doing fun things with them even now. Lots of times kids go for the negative attention when they do not get enough positive attention. They also need praise when they do things right. There are games you can play with all of them and all sorts of activities that you can enjoy.....even coloring together. They need to be cuddled a lot too.

    My DIL has a kindness chart and the children get points for being kind to each other. Kind acts are listed on the chart. After a certain number of points they all get to go to the park, out for ice cream, lunch at McDonalds, day trip someplace nice (and free), etc. They all have to get the same number of points before receiving the reward. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 2:21 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • By making and enforcing rules regarding behavior and mealtimes, by rewarding good behavior and punishing bad. By requiring them to clean up after themselves. By sending them to bed early when they are non-compliant. By restricting priviliges when they are mistreating one another and by NOT yelling, as yelling does nothing but inflame the situation.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 5:05 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • What aliceinalgonac said.

    Answer by caseyandkids at 8:24 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • By taking control and being in charge. Not just when it's easy and not just when it's convenient and not just when you're not busy and not just when you're not tired: ALL THE TIME.

    Answer by justnancyb at 8:32 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Dont yell, take them by the hand and get in their face calmy and say something like"I told you no! Listen to what I say or you will go in time out" Then follow through, ALWAYS, and stay strong! YOU are the mom!! GL :)

    Answer by WhitneyMommyOf2 at 12:48 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • oh mom you need a break stop yelling they no you are there and 9 times out of ten they turn off their hearing lol
    all kids fight and louder they are you will come running ,next time they fight tell them to take it out side or can you do that when dad around and always talk softly so they would have to come to you say mom what did you say i did't hear you the first time

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 1:20 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Idle hands do the devils work. Keep them busy! Seperate them if you have too. Make them do chores if they won't do anything else constructive. Also, outside play helps wear them out.

    Answer by salexander at 1:39 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

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