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bump in the road

Lately Dh and I have been having some communications problems (well actually he says I have been haveing comm. problems.) I suggested marriage counseling and he says we don't need that, the problem is me and that I don't talk to him. See but I think I do (maybe not ALL the time) but he either gets mad and doesn't understand what I'm saying or he ignores me.
I want us to work but it makes me angry that he is not taking any responsibility in our comm issues. He thinks its all me.


Not really sure what my question is but maybe some advice (not leaving him kind of advice) how to communicate better I mean.

Answer Question
 
gulfcoastmom4

Asked by gulfcoastmom4 at 1:16 PM on Nov. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,429 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Sounds like my STBX. Every problem in our relationship in our marriage was my problem according to him and my fault. He would never take his own responsibility. I'm sure I was at fault with some but according to him he was perfect in the relationship and like your refused to go to marriage counseling. So now I'm leaving. Even now that I'm leaving and he's begging me to stay he still refuses to get help for his issues. Good Luck. Tell him to either get help TOGETHER or tell him don't let the door hit him on the way out. It takes two to make a relationship work.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:22 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • If speaking face to face usually turns out bad, write it down, each of you write the other a letter, with what you think is happening and why and read it in front of each other and communicate this way.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:24 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • We are in the same boat momma. ((((HUGS))) just say what you want and after that its up to him. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:28 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • letters...and you seek your own counseling....
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 3:30 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I like the letter idea. Also think if you think you need help, then go get it. Yes it would be better if you both went, but maybe once you start going he'll decide to go too.
    KellyOh72

    Answer by KellyOh72 at 5:24 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • my husband says the same thing when it comes to this. but i explained it to him like this... (always after he gets done telling me what i have problems with comm wise or that i dont talk to him enough) i sit there for a min in silence.. look at him and calmly say honey i can not talk to you because every time i do you go into that.. i cant there isnt any point in me trying to tell you if you wont listen. after that he tries harder not to go straight to being angry
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 8:13 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • thanks guys
    gulfcoastmom4

    Comment by gulfcoastmom4 (original poster) at 3:26 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • sounds like you started it, in all fairness
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • I started what?
    gulfcoastmom4

    Comment by gulfcoastmom4 (original poster) at 7:09 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

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