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My husband's mom doesn't agree with me on certain issues with raising the baby. She agrees to my face, but then behind my baby says otherwise...having a hard time confronting her...any thoughts?

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Rockyschick

Asked by Rockyschick at 9:36 PM on Nov. 1, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (12)
  • unless you want her to start "taking charge" your gonna have to stand up to her and confront her on issues. it is hard to do, but you need to let her know who is boss over your child.
    kscmbz

    Answer by kscmbz at 9:41 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Let her be immature and talk about you behind your back. That is childish and you don't want to acknowledge she even does it. She can't control how you raise your child and that is her issue, not yours. Just leave it alone unless she starts saying stuff to your face and being rude, that would be a different story.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 9:41 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • who cares? she had her turn to raise her own kids, it's YOUR turn. they are YOUR kids, not hers. if she has a problem, oh well. you don't have to say anything to her face, unless you let her watch them and she does something you're against. THEN you should say something. if it's really bugging you to the point you think you should say something, get your hubby to tell her. she's more likely to listen to her own son than her daughter in law. MIL's think they're better when it comes to their son's kids. ok i'll stop before i start venting about MY MIL.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 9:42 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • tell her that when it comes to your child it is up to you and your hubby. and you ask her when you need advice. that is what i have done. Good luck
    MommyTessier

    Answer by MommyTessier at 9:44 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I had the same problem! My MIL was giving my son ice cram and soda when he was only a few months old. I was so PISSED! I went crazy on my husband but now I look back I should have told her more sternly. I had talked to her but like your MIL, didn't listen. Thank heaven she isn't really in the picture anymore bec I'm having expecting and I will be much more stern. I am the mother, and I and their father have the say in how our children are raised. They had their chance and now we have ours. Tell her that and that if she can't respect that tell her that she can't see the child untill you can trust that she will follow your rules. GOOD LUCK!
    MomAubrey

    Answer by MomAubrey at 9:55 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • Who cares what she says behind your back? When she takes your kid is she cramming chocolate and pop down their throats? The only time I would say something is if my MIL actually did the crap she tells me SHE thinks I should do. I remember when I was pregnant I said that I was going to cut my son's hair into a mullet (I was joking) and she told me I couldn't because it was her grandson and we exchanged heated words right then. Since then it's been a battle to keep her from feeding my son all sorts of crap he shouldn't have. You're best bet is to not say anything. If you do you might make it worse and she might start following through behind your back. Like my MIL does.
    BabyBreyen

    Answer by BabyBreyen at 10:28 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I am sorry you're having a hard time. Very quietly, inside yourself, do a check to make sure she is not trying to offer you some wise advice. As a child you need good nutrition, keeping warm enough, calm peaceful surroundings, happy play & having a mama who treasures you, etc. Nowadays I see young mothers who basically parent by obeying what the commercials tell them to do - yikes !! As a pre-school teacher, I think it is important for mothers to READ UP on parenting. If you are educating yourself and your mother-in-law is out of line, then it IS your husband's role to talk with her. It is his job as a man to tell her she is invading the boundary. He must protect you - from other people AND from his own mother.
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 10:30 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • If what she's doing is just talking, I'd ignore it. There's not a lot you can do to change her, it would really just be a waste of effort. Do be careful with her, because it's not unlikely that she'll undermine you when you're not looking, and THAT is something you need to put a cork in immediately. I agree that it should be your husband who confronts her if she does.
    3maniacsmom

    Answer by 3maniacsmom at 10:39 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I'm having the same issue. First, discuss it with your husband so that if and when the problem is talked about to her, you know that you'll have someone supporting you and that it wont be just you against her. Be mature about if you do decide to talk to her but be firm. Remeber, its your child not hers. If she cant respect you and your parenting then maybe she doesn't need to apart of your child(rens) life, and thats her loss. Good Luck =D
    Nora1

    Answer by Nora1 at 10:44 PM on Nov. 1, 2008

  • I would say for you.....dont say anything, if she wants to play that game lets her be the only one playing!! have your hubby talk to her if it really bothers you, if you were to say anything, she could turn it against you! tell your hubby that you really have a problem with it and let him charge down that alley! but thats only if it buggs you that much!......good luck
    funbabyboy08

    Answer by funbabyboy08 at 1:35 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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