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I don't know :-( What are your Thoughts, is our marraige dead? adult content

I have been married to my DH for 9yrs. We have a 7 yr old and a 3 yr old. On the surface it is. On the inside I am crying. My husband is unsupportive, after both of my C-sections he would gripe and complain when I asked him to help me, or drive me someplace or drive me someplace. When our first son was a year old I have Carpal Tunnel Surgery, he needed a bath, my DH said, I have another hand. I never get compliments. I recently found naked breast pictures in his email from a facebook friend. I have a tear in my wrist and have a cast on, he refuses to help bathe the boys, to do laundry, dishes, take out garbage, take care of pets etc. Sex is pinch boobs, stick it in pull it out, shower, bed. The I have been off work due to my injury I needed help with an overdraft and my DH got mad, left for 2 days, no word. Our oldest kept asking about dad. He has been like this for 8 years, I am trying to be positive with hope?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Nov. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I am really sorry that you are going through this and that you have for as long as you have. One thing is for sure you cannot continue on in the marriage the way that it is. You need to go to your husband and ask him if he wants to remain married-if yes then the two of you need counseling together and apart. You cannot continue to be treated this way for your sake and for your children's sake-they need to know that marriages are to be filled with love and when the love dies it needs to be fixed and if your husband isn't willing to treat you any better then they need to know that it isn't okay to go through life letting someone mistreat you. I am someone who looks at divorce as a last resort and when kids are involved you need to try harder than ever to make it work but I also know that it is very unhealthy for children to see that it is okay to treat someone you love poorly and to think that it is normal.
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 11:56 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • i would have left already if i was you.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:09 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • No. You need better communication. I would suggest marriage counseling. I think people walk away to quickly from marriage these days. No saying that you're doing anything wrong, but there are two sides to every story. Good luck
    mammanoel

    Answer by mammanoel at 10:57 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Yeah, I woulda left years ago.
    mhaney03

    Answer by mhaney03 at 10:11 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I would have tried to talk to him, tell him we need to go to couples therapy and if he refused I'd leave him.
    Gnomeofmyheart

    Answer by Gnomeofmyheart at 10:11 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • how bout a long time ago
    1LovelyAngel

    Answer by 1LovelyAngel at 10:15 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • It's easy to say leave but it's harder to do then say. Your in a sticky situation because you do have kids, not saying stay for the kids cause that never works. I'm saying if you know it's not going to get better at all do what you have to do cause right know you dont have his support but if you leave remember you'll really have no support cause it'll be just you. I wonder where he stayed when he left. He sounds like a loser. Your a strong woman to put up with that mess.
    Jenaiko01

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 10:22 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • leave
    1LovelyAngel

    Answer by 1LovelyAngel at 10:53 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • i would have left him
    photogrypher

    Answer by photogrypher at 11:03 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • I would ALWAYS say counseling first...and if he won't, then it's done.
    If you feel disrespected, and ignored, and alone...and he won't budge...then you need to get out before you die inside.
    If it's love, then it's worth fighting for, but you BOTH have to do the work.
    Good luck ((HUGS))
    boomamma

    Answer by boomamma at 11:19 PM on Nov. 7, 2010