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3 Bumps

Which is worse? (adoption)

Long story short.. my bio-mother was a heroin junkie and my bio-father was an alcoholic. Because of this, when I was3 I was adopted by our aunt. My older brother, who has the same birth mother and doesn't know who his father is, was adopted by his grandparents as a baby. Because he was raised by my maternal family, and my paternal aunt adopted me and my sister, we didn't grow up together. I was always told that I had been adopted, and I always knew that my parents were unfit. My brother, on the other hand, wasn't told that he was adopted until he was 17. In the age old pissing contest that is sibling rivalry, I claim that I had it worse because from a very young age I knew that my parents didn't want me and that they had decided that I wasn't worth it. He claims he had it worse because on his mothers deathbed he learned that it was actually his grandmother. Which do you think was worse?

Answer Question
 
prinzesstephi

Asked by prinzesstephi at 11:05 PM on Nov. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 12 (822 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Holy cow I think you guys have a lot more issues to work out without having to figure out who has is worse. Why does one have to be worse than another? They are just different bad experiences. Just be glad that you had people raise you that loved you, whether they were biological parents or not.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 11:08 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • Yeah, but even that's debatable. I was raised by my aunt who constantly threatened, and eventually did, relinquish guardianship and turned me over to fostercare. My brother was over coddled, and was told that his mother was really his sister.
    prinzesstephi

    Comment by prinzesstephi (original poster) at 11:11 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • on a funnier note... legally my brother is my uncle... cue that song...
    prinzesstephi

    Comment by prinzesstephi (original poster) at 11:12 PM on Nov. 7, 2010

  • they are both shitty ... i dont think one is necessarily worse... it is all how it effected the kid. i am sorry that happened...
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 7:46 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Sorry but I think this is kind of a twisted contest. Who cares, you each had your own experiences...why does one have to have it worse than the other?
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 12:52 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • It's kind of a twisted situation. It's not so much a matter of who had it worse... it's more like who had it better. I would have loved growing up with two parents who loved me unconditionally, even if that meant that I had to find out when I was seventeen that they chose to be my parents rather than just getting pregnant. He seems to think that my knowledge that my parents left me made me a more well adjusted adult. *shrugs*
    prinzesstephi

    Comment by prinzesstephi (original poster) at 1:24 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

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