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Do you get offended when people call you spoiled just b/c ur a SAHM?

My husband said that I was spoiled and I don't want to do anything! WHAT? aaargh! ok, he pays the mortgage and most of the bills. He also works two jobs. However, our son is type A personality, add a lil adhd, add a lil only child syndrome, and whatever else you can mix in. I have to stay on top of him in school, he isn't lets say a (bad) child, he gets bored easy, he likes to talk and yadda yadda. The teachers call me and I respond appropriately. Honestly, if I didn't take the extra measures, my child would be medicated in special ed.
When the parents don't the school doesn't care. (in my area)
I do try to help with the bills, selling items online - has gotten better -
finding little jobs that I can earn a lil extra cash. I keep the house immaculate, I will take a nap during the dayfrom working online at night.
How the hell am I spoiled? I don't get it. I wish I could go out and work, I need a break!

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websavvy1

Asked by websavvy1 at 7:30 AM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (236 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Yes, and I can't stand it. I think people say or think these things out of jealousy because they wish they could stay home themselves. They get this perception that the life of a SAHM is just rainbows and butterflies. That we can whatever we want, when we want. Thats complete crap LOL I have been a SAHM for only 2 years now, but always had a full time job prior to that and I will tell you that both are equally as challenging. I love being able to stay home with my kids and to be there for EVERYTHING, but I do often wish I could go back to work for several reasons
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 7:39 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I think most people know that since i am not working right now, our finaces are really low. So....they will not call me spoiled because we're too poor to be spoiled..LOL! I'm making a huge financial sacrifice by not working, there is no one being spoiled at my house! (maybe DH sometimes)

    DH does not care that i don't work though, he supports me staying home. He would never ever call me spoiled. He knows i work very hard to keep the house clean, the family fed & the clothes washed. Plus, all the other things i do..like helping with homework, doing all the shopping, taking DD to all her extra activities...the list goes on & on. Sounds like your DH takes you for granted. Make a check list of all the things you do in one day and "accidentally" leave it on the counter for him to see so he knows how busy you really are. SAHM is hard work!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:41 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I've been both a SAHM and a working mother, and in my experience, working was WAY easier than being a SAHM. And my career is challenging, both physically and emotionally. But the thing is, at some point during the day or night, the work day is OVER, you can get in your car and drive on down the road and it's OVER. Being a SAHM, it's never over, you're always on deck, rain or shine, sick or well, morning, noon and night, it's all on you. I think people who suggest that the SAHM Life is all beer and skittles simply don't know what they're talking about, particularly when the person in question is a man. There's just no way for them to feel the way we feel as mothers, always on alert, always working, either mentally or phyically, for the good of the family as a whole. SAHDs, even good ones, think there's some magical time of day when their job is over until tomorrow. Sorry Charlie, it's all you, all the time.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:46 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • If I were you I would not do anything for one entire day, except meet the needs of your son of course, but don't pick up anything that he takes out, dishes, laundry, etc... that when when your DH comes home he can see exactly what it is you do all day long. My hubby learned the lesson the hard way a few weekends ago, I was in bed with the stomach virus and he had to do everything. Needless to say he was extremely stressed out by the end of the day.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 7:59 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I haven't had this experience myself, but I'm sure it's hard when people don't realize how challenging it can to be a SAHM sometimes. Luckily, most of my mom friends who work also stayed home for a while too, and some of them have said that for them working is easier [in fact one calls SAHMs super heros :-) ]. I also try not to judge working moms either, because I've had some friends who said people have given them a hard time about working too. Everyone needs to decide what works best for their family. My DH has never really said anything to make me feel like I contribute less than he does. I think he's had a enough days where he stayed home while I had an appointment or if I was really sick (like a stomach virus) and he had to do almost everything to understand that it's often a lot of hard work and can be exhausting.
    pam19

    Answer by pam19 at 8:22 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • No, I don't because my hubby does spoil me. He appreciates that I spoil him as well. I take care of all of the household duties and he takes care of all of our financial support. It's a pretty good set up if you ask me.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:45 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Some SAHM does not have to worry about the bills being paid on time or food in the house because someone is making sure that it will be done. I will not BASH SAHM nor SINGLE MOMS....But lets look at reality here...See things from a MAN prespective. A MAN is out working all day probably in company that he hates but he has to deal with it because he has a family to take care of. Now, reality sits in....there are women who are married, single, and a widow taking care of the bills, the kids, and them MAN. So in a man eyes that has a women at home that is not working constant (meaning 4 out of 7 days a week.) he feel as though if this woman can do it then why cant mines....ITS called Support....
    mom42107

    Answer by mom42107 at 10:42 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I'm not a SAHM mom (single working mom) but I would NEVER say a SAHM is spoiled!
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 11:11 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

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