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2 Bumps

restraining order

I got a restraining order two weeks ago my now-ex tried to put his fist threw the back of my head. And he keeps calling, it is hard not to pick up the phone, and I did talk to him one night and it makes me feel bad, and think I made a mistake. What should I do?? The violence in my home has esculated in the last two years and he is an drunk that will not go back to treatment, he begs people outside off sale for money to by a bottle and gets mad when I pour it out. What should I do? I want to just leave him but I feel so bad--but some people you just cannot help.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, PICK UP THE PHONE WHEN HE CALLS. In fact, call the local police and say that he is repeatedly calling you. That's harassment. DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK. You deserve better.

    Answer by ballewal at 10:10 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Keep the order, and stop picking up the phone, your not going to be useful to your kiddos if your 6 feet under,, you and your kids deserve better than this, next time call the police and have him put away for viollating his order!!

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:11 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • If you have a restraining order then call the police, show them the documentation of the harassing phone calls, bruises, etc and press charges. He wont stop. Been there/done that. It will be a war for a while until he moves on. He will move on but it will take a while as not to many women wants a jerk like that. But your best recourse to this guy is put him in jail every time he even farts your name. Seriously. Once the police understand he doesnt abide by the rules, they will watch over you and bust him. Its hard I know. Its more than hard but you have to do this to get away. I hide from (now ex) hubby for over a year to keep myself & my children safe. He wont go away Sweetie, until you MAKE him go away. Be careful, be smart. Good Luck.

    Answer by lacyjones at 10:14 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • And the other thing when the cops were called it took them over 45 minutes to get here, 45 minutes for a domestic dispute!!!! UGGG I have a feeling if I turn him in, they will not do anything anyway

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:23 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • You had one smart moment and that was when you filed the restraining order... now STICK WITH IT. Don't be stupid and go back into that type of a living situation and especially with your child(ren) involved. If you do one of many things can and probably will happen:

    1) You will lose your children when DFCS gets ahold of this information about the household
    2) You will get injured or killed
    3) Your children will get injured or killed

    Only good things can come from NOt being with this type of individual....

    Take it from me and my personal experience as a child in that type of household with my mother growing up. I got the shit beat out of me repeatedly in drunken anger.

    Answer by Memigen at 10:25 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Don't be stupid and go back. He won't change no matter how or what he promises. DO NOT GO BACK!! DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE!!! LEAVE!!

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 10:29 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • next time he comes around and into your life, think about your kids, if you have any. It sounds like he just wants to come back into your life to benifit himself like getting money out of you or for you to take care of him. its easy for you to feel sorry for him if he put you through a guilt trip.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 10:32 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • You can feel sorry for someone and still not have them in your life. You need to STOP all enabling behavior. Picking up the phone, letting him back into your life. In a way this is cruel too. You send the mix message of letting him think he still has a chance. You need to make a clean break and start your life over. Hopefully he will to.

    In the mean time, change up your routine. Sadly this is the most dangerous time for you. Move or change jobs if you can and don't tell him where. Go to different places at different times. If you always went to the market by your house on Mon night, go on Wed to a dif market. Consider going to a SAFE house too... or staying with a friend... get a new #. Someone that would punch you in the back of the head should not be underestimated. Go to a co-depency support group so you don't pick this type of person again.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 10:52 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Thanks ladies the only thing I can do is change the locks(done) and change my phone number, I own my place and I need to keep my job, it has a great schedule for my kids--- Thanks ladies for the support

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:25 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

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