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2 Bumps

Do you involve yourself in your teen's relationships?

I try to go on as if things are normal, and let them work it out between themselves. Of course if there was verbal/physical abuse then that would be totally different. Just wanted feedback from other moms on how they handle these situations. Thanks in advance-

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (11)
  • When my children were teens, their daddy and I were involved in every facet of their lives. There were times when we offered counsel and then had to wait to see how the children would handle situations. Amazingly, they always made the right choices--it just sometimes took them a bit longer that we would have liked. Teens are still children in many respects. They are venturing out into the adult world, but they still need our guidance and direction and advice. Depending on how one has parented up until the teen years, they may actually want your advice, but they still want the freedom of making their own choices. It's a difficult balance to maintain at times, but with God's help, it can be done.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:52 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Yes. My daughter is 16 and we talk about everything. Right now she is having boyfriend issues and I'm happy to say she comes to me with them. I don't stick my nose in (too much) but she knows she can talk with me about anything.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:54 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • To some degree yes, we're still their parents, and they still need guidance from us, and this is a new area. Definitely, anything that is seriously wrong, or that breaks our rules, we'd be involved in....when possible we stay out of it, and let them work things out so they learn about relationships.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:06 AM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I agree with you OP...I stand back and let things happen naturally now it something becomes questionable or abusive sure I would step in but I pretty much let it go with the flow. They never learn about emotions, or feelings, or life in general if we keep trying to stop or fix everything

    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 2:56 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • it start from the moment they come in this world that we are the teachers and they are students ,what ever question my kids i answer honest ,if i did not no we would look it up.i was raise that a child was not a loud to now about sex , or any thing else
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 12:13 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • watch from a far & ask your daughter questions!
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 5:01 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • my kids where not aloud to date till they finish high school
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 1:42 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Well I am staying out of them. My teen daughter has a boyfriend who keeps breaking up and then getting back together. I told her I do not want to hear her crying phone calls they make me up set. So she said "mom I was sad I just needed to talk to you"... Then that made me sad for her. OY> I am out. LOL until next time of course.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 4:29 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • i got involved w my sd and her bf when he hit her my hb and i tried to get them to break up and it backfired in our faces she then found out she was pregnant and now that she had the baby we are not allowed to see her i wish i wouldn have gotten involved cause now we cant see our grandaughter and it kills me inside that its my fault
    momofalltrades

    Answer by momofalltrades at 5:59 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

  • Yes, my husband and I involve ourselves with anything that has to do with our children's personal growth. We have 9 children ages 9, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18, and 21. I have explained to my children from early on that everything has it's season, and a reason for the season. My children are not allowed (for the exception of my 21 year old) to date or have any intimate-type relationships outside of a platonic friendship. Liking someone is fine and natural, but at this time in their lives we are striving to handle first things first, and that is a good education, personal growth and awareness along with spiritual growth. I have talked with my oldest child (daughter) about dating or should I say "courting" because she is at an age now where I can see the maturity in her. However, she has told me that right now she is not ready nor interested in pursuing a relationship. My sons, however, I have had challenges with.
    Lordgivemewizdm

    Answer by Lordgivemewizdm at 10:15 PM on Nov. 16, 2010

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