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How can you control this? (If you could)

I have a very good man he is my dh and I love him so much he is everything to us. He has two teenage kids from a previous marriage whom I have know when they were 2 and 4 yrs. of age and we have two kids 7 and 9 yrs. of age. Anyway whenever he does see his older kids he gives them money and this just started this year he already pays child support to their mom and now he is givving them cash on the side I really don't care but he seems to do this EVERYTIME like from one weekend to another I tell him he needs to give them money once in a while bc now they are expecting it and never learn how to be responsible I think it is BS. I don't mind I just wish he would leave me alone when I spend hes always biting my head off but yet he will go straight to the ATM and take out a 20 or 40 must be nice. I don't think that is fair :( Venting... Thx ladies


Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I totally understand where you are coming from. I have a large family and I understand the dynamics of money, family, and children. My husband is the sole provider of a family of 11 (we have 9 children) and it is extremely important to consult with each other in regards to how the money is spent and/or given out. You do have the right to question his generosity towards "you". With the same generous spirit he shows his children, he should also show that to you as well, especially since you share a life together along with the expense of sharing that life. You are within your marital rights to express how you feel, not about what he does for the children, but how he deals with you in CONTRAST to the children. Remember, delivery is everything, so create a moment alone, preferably away from the house on a dinner date, long drive or day at the park to talk about this very sensitive subject.

    Answer by Lordgivemewizdm at 1:17 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Whose money is it? If he earns it, it's his right to give. If you earn it together, it's not all his , it's a decision for both of you. If it's your money, kick his ass to the curb.

    If you're not earning the money you're complaining about, go make some and spend away!

    Answer by romanceparty4u at 1:11 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • OP HERE I don't care... obviously you did not understand my post. ladies please I need good advise be nice what would you really do and please read my post carefully put yourselves in my shoes answer with your heart not just start blabbing thx

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:18 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • The fact that he bites your head off when you spend a little money would be a problem for me. It wouldn't matter who else my DH was handing money to (kids from a previous marriage, his parents, a siftless brother or drinking buddy) if he was handing it out like candy to somebody else while biting my head off it would be a problem. I have no idea how to fix it. Mine doesn't do that. But I do at least understand why you have a problem with it. I would have a problem with it too.

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 12:32 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • You're right. It's not fair. And you're right, they will come to expect and then when he can't give htem money, he'll get upset.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 4:00 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Teenagers need a little extra spending money here and there. If they were your kids would you say something? Just because he is a good man and gives his child support, does that mean he can't give his kids a little extra. WOW!! I find this selfish of you. What if he takes your kids to a movie or mcdonalds. would that be considered the same? Doing a little extra.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Nov. 8, 2010